And Here We Go Again.

Once upon a time, not too long ago. I reconnected with an old friend. With whom I have not spoken to in at least 5-7 years. Come to find out his wife, a woman that I loved and cared for. Had passed. About a year ago. We talked about his grief. Pain. Suffering. His addiction to drugs. We talked about mine. We got really close because of our late night discussions. It was raw. It was real. I let someone in. And then they commit suicide. Did it to me. Before I could do it to you. I don’t blame him for what he did. He was the one who hid behind a smile from everyone else but me. He was the one who was there for everyone that her death left broken. Lost. Lonely. Seemingly the one, who had no one there for him. Except me. We find it easier to tell these things to people who already know what it feels like. To be at the end of our rope. Because they understand. Because those people can see. Now I’m left here. Worse off than I was before. Another beautifully broken soul. Returned home.