One moment im thinking about the the relief and freedom an exit would provide, then later I’m thinking it’s no answer, it’s just quitting. The thought of it being over seems to make me happy, but I bet if I got a cancer diagnosis I’d be pissed.
If you’re willing to die, why not be willing to make a go of it instead? I dunno..
The wish to die will be granted to each and every one of us one day, without exception. So why live in fear of failing another attempt at happiness regardless of how foolish it seems? In the end we will be gone and if we fail it won’t matter and if we succeed then at least we wouldn’t have been so miserable before the inevitable end.
The end we seek is coming one way or another.
More importantly, why won’t I feel this way later?
Fuck if I know…
12 comments
Sometimes I don’t know either. At the moment, things aren’t going too well. I hit my low a couple of years back and I know I’m backsliding now. Depending on the particular moment, my outlook goes from hopeful to doomsday. In many respects, I’ve lost faith… but I continue forward making the motions in hopes that some sunshine will appear.
🙁
I have hopes. Things haven’t always been like this so I know how they could be. I guess that helps. A few years back, I went through some rough situations. It’s been a tough road recovering. But I still hope. I hope you do, too.
Because somewhere deep down in your psyche…you don’t feel like you’ve suffered enough yet? What are you really punishing yourself for? Do you know? Didn’t others punish you enough for crimes you did not commit?
Damn I wish they just had a “like” button I could click…and spare you all my blah, blah, blah.
As with anything else…practice makes perfect…so keep practicing happy and forgive yourself when you can’t muster up any enthusiasm. As you learn to understand and accept yourself…the backsliding will become less and less. Good luck on your journey…and can and does get easier. I promise.
Do you think depression can be dealt with by a change of thought patterns?
I’ve heard of a technique called “thought-stopping” before so I Googled it.
According to WebMD:
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“Unwanted thoughts can make you feel anxious or depressed. They may keep you from enjoying your life.
A technique called thought-stopping can help you stop unwanted thoughts.
What you think can affect how you feel. Thought-stopping helps you change how you think so that you feel better.
Changing your thinking will take some time. You need to practice thought-stopping every day. After a while, you’ll be able to stop unwanted thoughts right away.
Some people may need more help to stop unwanted thoughts. Talk to your doctor or a therapist if you want more help to stop thoughts that bother you.”
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If I post the link, this comment will wind up in moderation… but a Google search will give you information from WebMD and other sites. The short answer to your question appears to be, at least in some cases, “Yes.”
nope….I know it can. I am living proof. I have not suffered from debilitating depression or anxiety for almost 3 years now…and the docs say I will never suffer like that again. It is called neural re-networking or some such…all I know is when you commit yourself to the process…there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Turn your disabilities into abilities.
I should also include the fact that I was prescribed medical marijuana 14 years ago. This is the only medication I take…nothing more…not even Tylenol…and my Life has improved significantly. There is soo much more to it…but I blather at the best of times. Really…all I wish for you…is for you to find your own answers and travel your own road. Just wanted to let you know that when you commit to your own healing…and retrain your brain…it works. 😀 Good Luck and Good Journey.
That is awesome DR !! Thank you for sharing that. You rock ! 😀
Thanks, Ama… I haven’t tried it in my therapy sessions but I’ve heard it mentioned. As you mentioned in your comment, you’re living proof. 🙂
I think you should create a post about it. 😀
I don’t create many posts here. Perhaps an exception… 🙂
Same here, hopeful to doomsday. That was a good way to put it.