My desire and motivation have been very low for the past couple of years that I have been called “depressed.” I couldn’t go to college for more than a couple of weeks before I started skipping and realising that it was just like high school, where it seemed that the aspirations of everyone were to get drunk and make stupid decisions, which I had a difficult time understanding. (If they hated consciousness so much, why didn’t they commit suicide?) What is the point of living past high school anyways? I always liked learning, but that’s proving to be more trouble than it’s worth. With the Internet at my fingertips, it’s easy to learn about how awful humanity is. It makes me not want to associate with anyone. Plus, nobody is paid to learn, which is unfortunate for me.
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Depressednihilist95,
“If they hated consciousness so much, why didn’t they commit suicide?” That is one hell of a question, isn’t it (And one that I think many people need to ask themselves)?
But just because many people around you are unambitious, that doesn’t mean you have to follow. Speaking as someone who doesn’t drink, or use drugs, I often feel like an outcast among society as well (although those are hardly the only reasons).
In regard to education, you feel you cannot actually attend classes, perhaps explore the possibility of taking college courses online. On the social front, I’m sure there are others like-minded as you (they may just be more difficult to find). Best of luck.
L4Y
(L4Y@cogeco.ca)