A Word to the Weary

Everything has become so fucked up.  I use to be so good at holding my emotions in check, tucking everything away in a forbidden portion of my psyche.  That all ended tonight.  I cried tonight like I have never cried before.  And while it was a much needed release, it was bitter sweet.

Maybe it was the alcohol that triggered all of this.  Maybe it was the insurmountable guilt that has compounded over the years.  I honestly don’t know.

You see, I wish I hadn’t  held these feelings in for so long.  I wish I could turn back the unforgiving hands of time.  I wish I told her I loved her; that I never stopped loving her.  I wish I told her that I never blamed her for her illness.  I wish I could I go back and stop her when she apologized for all she had put me through through these past few years.  I will never be able to amend these grave mistakes, dear reader.  So please, I beg of you, do not follow in my foolish footsteps.  Please, my dear, dear reader, leave no feelings unspoken.  Leave no truths unheard.