Another day of, well, nothing. I can’t laugh, I don’t want to eat, I don’t want anything but to plan my final sleep. I don’t know if my coworkers notice- probably not, they don’t know me that well. I’m trying to decide whether to do it before Christmas, before New Year, or maybe in February. All these are good times, I guess.
Every day is just empty for me, all I look forward to is sleeping and forgetting for one night and then forever. I can forget how I always let everyone down, how I always disappointed everyone- story of my adult life. They will probably consider this another in a long line, but at least it will be the last time I disappoint them. I can’t wait for it to be over.
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
11 comments
I am with you I can’t wait for it to be over…people always ask and wonder why we killed ourselves, but it’s funny they never noticed what we are going through. It’s really sad.
Exactly! It’s always, “why didn’t they say something?” Maybe because they wouldn’t listen, wouldn’t understand, or even try. I’m glad I found this place so I can be honest with someone and especially myself. I care enough about them to take myself out of their lives, shouldn’t that be enough?
Tell me about it when we are gone that’s when they notice that we were gone way before we ended our lives…they ask all the questions in the world and always say they wish they would have noticed…they had a chance to notice. But just as humans we are all selfish and do not notice things unless they affect us.
How is someone suppose to see whats going on, if you put a mask on? How do you know none of your colleagues is experience something similar? They smile? Well, that must mean they are happy, right? How do you, they would not listen, if you havent even tried talking?
Right! Putting someone down or insulting them when they are feeling something different about this life is NOT listening- it’s just confirming what we already knew about them, about ourselves. Probably 10-15 times a day I find myself saying or thinking “I don’t care”- but I do! I care enought to end it!
I feel like you are me…is that weird you are taking the words right out of my mouth.
It’s good to have someone listen and not judge, just understand.
I wanted to say that I don’t know what your plan is, or even if you have one for whatever, but whatever you decide, it’s your choice and that makes it the best choice for you. I hope that makes sense. I don’t want to say something like “I agree” because that puts my approval on it, and it’s just not up to me to approve anything. I hope that makes sense.
How is someone suppose to see whats going on, if you put a mask on? How do you know none of your colleagues is experience something similar? They smile? Well, that must mean they are happy, right?
I feel similar to you rea3366, 46 years old but wishing for endless sleep to rid me of my problems. Socially enept, feeling overwhelmed by my miserable life and worthlessness, seeing little point of a future of the same. How do I relate this to those around me irl, how can they understand if they don’t experience it themselves. I can’t tell them, if I do I fear I’ll be an outcast among my coworkers, pitied by them or being talked about behind my back. So I keep quiet, then of course when we die it’ll be as you say, why didn’t he talk. Sorry but I know exactly what you’re saying.
I can’t deal with this. I’m 23 and I feel exactly the same. I lost one of the only proper jobs I had managed to hold down post-university, but the anxiety overwhelmed me. The future is crushing me.