I have shared with a few closer friends that I intended on ending my life recently, and of course they all wanted to stop me. I am struggling daily with the decision, but what I have found astounding from people is that when I try to find some way to do something positive, or productive with them (in order to move life forward and not think about suicide), they don’t show much interest at all. If I mention suicide, they are concerned for a while and ask what they can do. However, when it comes time to follow through… in fact a few seem to be acting like they think I am not serious. I don’t know when I will finally be at peace with the process of suicide, but I know that I consider it daily right now. Finally, I called a chat line the other day and asked why the person on the other line was motivated to stop me from ending my life……she grew defensive. Have others had experiences like this? Just seems so hypocritical that people that don’t want you to quit on life seem to quit on you so easily
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
8 comments
People who don’t suffer from suicidal thoughts really can’t understand what it is like. Maybe you could explain to them what you feel you need. Tell them how they could best support you thru this. Good luck.
Thanks, will try….I guess it is somewhat impossible for them to understand, but why are people, especially counselors so willing to jump right in like they do understand? I guess I just don’t know where to start because they don’t understand. I even have a pair of friends who say they have almost committed suicide but it seems now that their lives are turned around they seem to disassociate as much as possible from the thoughts of it…..Hope that makes sense. Thank you for the feedback though, it is an avenue/perspective worth giving some exploration.
If you are unsure where to start maybe try writing it down? Just begin with your thoughts on it and as you write maybe a plan will form on what you need to say. Its what works for me. I really hope this works out for you.
Thanks….will try that…I am sure it can at least give me a skeleton of what to say.
People like to feel like they are important and able to help. Tell them that they have helped even if they haven’t. They will like you more and may be more motivated to try and help some more. Maybe one day will actually say or do something helpful. But if you keep being hopeless, they will give up… It’s too much effort to help someone without any illusion of progress.
Show them you’re also doing everything you can to help yourself. They will respect you more for it. And people are more likely to support something that is showing some hope of success, because they want to be part of that success.
I have a friend who I can confide in but it’s very hard to do since he has a close friend who committed suicide last year.
OK, scarsareforever, you have to consider something here……who is more stable at the moment? The people who are trying to help need support? I do try to find the little things they are doing right…. What you are asking me to do is virtually lie to them….so they are operating under some illusion. I get what you are saying, but part of the point of my post here is in support of people who do feel all alone and aren’t getting what they need, and that they shouldn’t feel bad for leaving those behind who are too selfish to see beyond their immediate desires. If people don’t want to be going to another funeral, and they want to have some influence on that other person’s decision, well it is up to them to show how important it is….. People here have enough to worry about, and one of the sickest practices these days I see is to try and blame someone who is in enough pain already for finally deciding they are done. If others don’t want the pain of going to a funeral, then it is up to them while they are in a stonger position to show that.
These people already know I have been struggling and that is why I reach out to do something positive, and constructive. I get what you are saying here and it makes sense on the surface, but part of my point is if people really want to prevent suicide, they can’t only be in 50%….. That is what I see out of most I talk to…..and that is partially why it happens…
If someone you know wanted to commit suicide, how far would you go to stop them? How far could you go? What if, despite all your efforts, you failed to stop them?
I question that suicide needs to be prevented at all times. Obviously I prefer people didn’t kill themselves. But if a person is in enough pain, I think they need to have a right to kill themselves. I wouldn’t want to be, say, locked up forever just so I would not kill myself, so that my family wouldn’t be sad. That is a fate worse than death for me.
The problem is when you’re suicidal you can’t see any other way out. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t there. I sometimes get those moods when I see no way out and think I should kill myself before it gets any worse. But it’s not true. There are so many things that can make life worth living.
In short, I think everyone has a right to kill themselves. But I want people to see that is not the only option, that things can get better. You can get to a point where life is worth living. You don’t have to accept living a shitty life, maybe removing the pain with meds. It’s still shit. I think the way is to get yourself out of that shit, slowly but surely. Other people can help but most of the time they cannot save you.
You can save yourself by helping yourself and also by helping other people help you… That is the way I see it. And yes, other people really have all sorts of problems. So you might as well make helping you as easy as possible.