the ex finally left again. that is a good thing, but that old feeling of loss and lonliness always return when she leaves. she was not the reason i tried to kill myself. i tried to kill myself because i do not know how to live in this world. i dont understand it. it dont understand me.evrything that was familiar and comfortable is gone. now, evrything is new and frightning. why is doing the right thing so hard?does the emptiness of loss ever go away? does the pain ever stop? each day i become more withdrawn and reclusive from society. hiding and hoping no one finds me. living on the kindness of others and trying to find some sense of direction in life. i do not understand why suicide is so wrong. what differance does it make when somebody has no reason or purpus to exist? no, my friends, dont worry. their is not another attempt coming. im past that for now. i just dont know why that this lonley, crappy existence is so damned important to people who dont know the misery involved in it.
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Because of the so many choices you have, right? That’s why suicide is wrong. You could be an astronaut this second if you choose so.
tc13, it sounds like you might be similar to me, in that you find it comforting to have a routine, and when your life is turned upside down and the stable routine is disrupted, it throws you off-kilter. That, combined with the crushing loneliness, is enough to make anyone miserable, even *without* the added challenge of debilitating depression.
I know it’s little comfort now, but if you can hang in there for awhile, you’ll form a new routine. You’ll have that sense of stability again. Give yourself a chance to settle in.
For what it’s worth, I really feel for you — I’d be terrified if I were in your situation, and there’s a chance I will be soon. If it comes to that, I hope I can take my own advice : |
thank you, lost
I don’t know what to write tc13, I, myself, feel empty and alone, but you mentioned a son, so that makes you worthwhile, more than me. Please don’t be frightened, you’re going through so much, but you will be ok, you will. Don’t let yourself become reclusive, keep yourself going out, idk, just keep active if you can. I hope you find a new direction in your life, that you can belong in this world, I hope things start looking up for you, that one day you can put this period behind you. Stay with SP, you matter to us.
nias, you are worthwhile to me. your words provide solace and comfort. please do not worry. im doing what i can. yes, sp is very important to me.