I’ve been fighting this off for decades. I’ve had a couple of failed attempts not because I didn’t make a real effort but because something always happened to stop. Now, I’ve lost everything which I had gained and nothing left has any value except my children but that’s no longer enough. I want death and to be out fem this pain and suffering. The reasons are numerable but the answers are empty as to why to keep going. I just want out. I don’t know why I’m writing. I suspect it’s just to get through the next moments and maybe the day. If I can get through the day then I can get home and medicate myself to sleep and be done for a bit. Tomorrow will bring about the same shit, the same abuse, the same rejection, the same pain, and all of those things that all of you are also experiencing. How do you get through. And for thos with negative commentary, do us all a favor and shut the fuck up. Your voice and anger is not needed here. As a therapist (yes, shockingly, even we can go through this, no one is immune), your anger is really towards yourself so deal with it either by going to see a professional and finding compassion for yourself and then for others and become a supportive and helpful voice or suffer and be tormented but don’t attack those of us who, for some reason, are turning here to release the pain for a few moments who need to find connection to help us stick around a few more minutes.
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2 comments
Well I can understand some of what you say and what your going through. I have had a few or more attempts at my own life. and I really was trying too. In fact I cant figure out how I lived through some of the things I did to myself.
But puttting that aside there is nothing wrong with coming here and venting. Thats what this form is for. Sometimes I person just needs to vent a little bit and have a few understanding voices comment on it. That way you wont feel so alone in your issues. Trust me you are not alone.
And I agree with you about some of the negative commenting on this forum. Most of what I have seen on here over the past year has been pretty good. But occasionally you get some really angry person who just cuts people down and makes rude remarks and assumes things about others that might not necesarily be so.
I think the forum could be monitored more carefully and negative posts about others could be deleted and people who make them should be warned.
There are lots of depressed people in the world. and sometimes there is that one who thinks his or her problems are more significant and painful then everybody elses issues and that is a rude way to approach things.
anyway I hope things get better for you.
You kind of mentioned that your in a cycle of pain and so forth. Id like to suggest that maybe you should consider making some changes to your life so you dont have to go through the same
“the same shit, the same abuse, the same rejection, the same pain,”
I bet if you make some changes to your life you could cut out a lot of that and move on.
Good luck
I’m intrigued that you’re a therapist… firstly, I thought all therapists had therapists to talk to? Second, do you self-prescribe medication? I didn’t think that was allowed.
chances are I can’t say anything you don’t already know. It was a good vent, so have at it. Hope you feel better.