I never really had a good life. My brother and mom never listened when I needed them, and my dad left when I was three. Middle school was where it got really hard. Over and over kids would come up to me to spout some insult just for the kick of it. No one ever even asked if I was okay. I had to change my personality over and over to try and fit in, now I don’t even know who I am. High school was the turning point from bad to the worst. My dad tried coming back because I won some academic award, and he wanted me to send him pictures and shit just so he could brag to his friends that the kid “he raised” was better than theirs. He and my mom got in some legal dispute after that saying that he didn’t pay child support, but courts don’t do shit and we just lost money trying to get my fucking dad to help in some way. My mom had to work around the clock just to keep food on the table and my lazy ass brother just sat around spending my moms money for the hell of it. Thing just wouldn’t get any better. Right now I’m 19, no job, my mom can’t support me, I don’t have the money to go to college, and all I can do is sit around calling to see if anyone would hire me. As of now, the only option that I can think of is just ending it so I don’t have to put up with this fucked up world anymore. I mean, what’s the point of living if there is nothing to live for.
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It’s hard to get any decent job without higher education. I’d suggest trying to get student loans…also do some not-too-stressful job which hires kids with your education/age that can help pay the bills. You remind me of me at your age and you sound like a responsible person.
Ya there’s been many times I’ve wanted to give up-even as young as 12 when I felt my life was shit. But I liked my friends/family/teachers, though not other students (most of them) and it helped me to go further. For a long time I was under the illusion I was unique/special…I really excelled academically and athletically…but that feeling wore off as I got older and began to learn it’s dog-eat-dog out there. Sometimes people who are less educated/intelligent, still manage to go further in life than you which was disillusioning for me.
Anyhow, had I ended my life-my mother would’ve ended up on the streets due to health issues and my siblings wouldn’t care for her-and other terrible stuff would’ve happened. I did what I could to be a positive influence to people within my circle. I continue to help others, be a peace-maker, keep others laughing/feeling good. I realized that other people’s live (in my circle) as not as great as I though-even if they have more money, they actually are more miserable.
But I’m planning to upgrade my job and have other ideas I’m working on. I think in a couple of years things could be significantly better for me-only time will tell. There are other negatives in my life by I won’t get into that now-my post is long enough already.
Hey there,
Let me tell you something. I’m almost the same age as you. I too, would like to get a job of some sort.
But you see, I’m blind. While some say that they won’t work for a minimum wage job, I would, just to get some income coming in. This being said, employers can hide behind the reason for not hiring is because of liability reasons. But I’ll keep searching and trying to find work, and move along in my little life.
If you ever wanna chat, email me when you need,
brl.cents@gmail.com