Hi Everyone I’m new here im gay 31 living with my dad I have social anxiety agoraphobia ptsd Addictions to crystal meth, I’ve been doing crystal now for 8 months on and off the longest I can go without getting some is always a month. And that’s the case here I’m a month off it again. I am trying to quit. But I just recently split up with my boyfriend of five months. I’m alone again and he told me some home truths. That I didn’t wanna hear. Anyways I’ve tried to kill myself 7 times through my life first time I was 13. I just recently attempted hanging myself from my bed a few days ago obviously I failed. I got so close to blacking out everything got spinny and louder which freaked me out so I undid the thing around my neck I almost passed out as I ran to turn my tv down cause it seemed to have gotten louder and I didn’t want to wake my dad. After that I had a splitting headache red eyes and was coughing up blood for 2 days. I’m Ganna try again soon. I’m upset I got so close but freaked out. I have nothing to live for I don’t work and I’m a drug addict and alcoholic now. I have no friends other then the ones who wanna get me back on crystal so no one to talk too. I have to succeed this time no room for errors. I can’t live this way anymore
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
5 comments
Damn.. and I thought I had problems..
Dude, you can’t kill yourself.. you have to fix yourself. And since your not working and it seems it’s not a must cause your still living at dad’s house, take the time to heal man. You have to stop that meth shit.. jesus, that is what is pushing you over the edge man. Stop hanging around your demon friends.. method will fuckin kill your dude. Just stop doing things that kill you.. play some video games and eat healthy for a month and just stay home!!! Don’t talk to any of your loser demon friends aight?
Maybe yiu shiuld move away as well.. away from that life.. try a whole new city man.. or something..
Thanks for the reply and yeh your right meth is evil and the reason I’m so unhappy. I mean I was unhappy before I started using meth. But this is something else I’ve never felt so alone as I do now. I kinda wanna tell my dad but know he’ll either kick me out or be truely disappointed with me both will be hard to deal with. It’s just so hard cause no one in my family knows of my meth use. I intend to cut everyone who wants me to do that shit, I thought they were good friends realy there my enimies. It’s just shit that if I don’t do crystal with them they won’t hang with me. But I guess like u said I need a fresh start and maybe new friends. I’m not going to try and kill myself again I wanna see what life holds for a drug free me. I just hope I have enough will power to do this alone.
The drug that ruined my life was a simple one.. Weed. It wasn’t just the weed.. it’s who it made me hang out with.. Stoners. People going no where in life.. all they wanted to do was smoke weed, they were all dropouts.. why else hang out? To smoke weed and do nothing productive. I turned into them.. i droppedal out thus living a shitty life.. and where are those friends now?? No fuckin clue.
The only way your gonna succeed from this is finding a job, never hanging out with people that do drugs. . Cause guess what, friends fade away sooner or later.. might as well cut the bad ones out now before they bring you further into hell. The devil plays with idle hands, get working…
I hope you overcome your addiction. Is there maybe a forum for recovering addicts where you can find helpful tipd? Maybe someone to talk to during those rough moments. Good luck.
And love your username.
Thanks it’s my name on Twitter to ???? And I hope I can overcome my addiction too. I will have a look for forums that might help me. Thanks for the idea I never even thought about that. I was thinking rehab but I think with my social anxiety it wouldn’t be the best thing for me. And I don’t realy want my family to know.