Everyone is suicidal…everyone

I’m suicidal and have been for over 30 years, living one day at a time. That method of surviving has made life long and exhausting. I’m not suicidal because of some previous abuse (physical, sexual, etc.) or anything traumatic such as that. I’ve had a great life by most people’s standards. I just observed early in life as a shy, quiet, Asperger’s kid that there was not much to look forward to other than going through the same motions as everyone else–get educated, further that education, get some sort of job, advance in one’s career, make money, and pay bills–oh, and die. Sure there are good things mixed into that life template–family, friends, a loving mate, fresh air and sunshine, seeing new places, further learning (at school or at work). Yet still one must live within life’s template that is established before we are born, with that template only varying slightly based on one’s home country, societal and religious practices and beliefs, and socioeconomic status. Regardless it goes from birth to work and pay bills to death. The death part is inevitable, though it is a coin toss as to how it will go at the end–slow and painful or quick and relatively painless.

Now to my post’s title and my point. I am not the only suicidal one, and others reading or posting here are not my only kin in that regard. Everyone on Earth is suicidal. If you don’t know what I mean by that, then become a shy, quiet person (Asperger’s or not) and observe. Go to a fast food joint, an all-you-can-eat buffet, a happy hour at a bar, drive on the roadways of your city, fly on a plane, jump out of a plane (parachute or not), do drugs (legal or not)–just observe. If you pay attention to life around you at all, you will see my point without reading another word here.

You see, that person:

1. having a fast food hamburger for the 5th time this week

2. going back for seconds (or thirds) at the all-you-can-eat buffet

3. having that 6th pint of beer at happy hour

4. driving (unrelated to drinking, though drinking sure doesn’t help) on the roads in a deadly weapon with others who also possess the same (or slightly larger or smaller) deadly weapon

5. flying in a plane (great technology that is relatively safe, but humans were never meant to fly)

6. jumping out of a plane (parachutes generally work, but humans were still not meant to fly especially outside of a plane and certainly not without a parachute)

7. doing drugs (mostly the “legal” kind so it’s OK of course–not!)

8. …the list goes on…

…yes, that person is suicidal. That person just likely would not acknowledge that he/she is suicidal because they don’t see the above activities and limitless other activities of daily life as “suicide”. Well, those activities *are* suicide. We as a society just don’t label those things as suicide because the word suicide has such a bad connotation that we would not dare apply it to what are likely daily activities for 99% of the population. Too bad folks–it is still suicide. People are killing themselves all over the world via their daily activities and habits and just won’t call their behavior what it is–a coping mechanism that is accelerating their death, or better known as suicide.

So to myself and people like myself walking this Earth and acknowledging our suicidal thoughts and actions, you are not alone. You know as I do that the person sitting next to you with the narrowing arteries is killing himself or herself. The person driving next to you on the road is killing him or herself, and putting others around them in grave danger with their deadly weapon (yes, a car is a deadly weapon). Pay attention to the miserable death that everyone around you is putting themselves through. Pat yourself on the back if you at least are being honest about wanting to die or considering actions to shorten one’s own life consciously rather than going through life’s template and robotic actions without ever giving thought to what one is doing to oneself through life’s actions.