there comes a time when the people around you, are like, “enough already”… they may not say it to your face but you can tell that part of them wishes you would just go away.
that time has come and gone for me. its been 5 years.
and now, here i am- living alone again- waking up everyday to the harsh reality that it is my real life that is the nightmare, while tidbits of sleep offer my only sense of relief
it is beyond reason to struggle to survive just to live a nightmare- there is no point in that, no quality to life
if i could just sleep- forever sleep…………….
6 comments
I wish I could think of the right words to help you find meaning but I struggle to find it myself. Sometimes I just wish it was all a bad dream and that I would wake up but then I go to sleep and find the dreams are even worse. Sigh…I hope you find something, even if it’s only in sleep for now. I am glad you can at least escape to that. Hopefully at some point you find something so you won’t need to escape anymore.
I hear you. I wish I had an answer. I love to sleep. At least then I know I’m dreaming. If you can break through the clouds of angst to see the sun and sky and stars, at least there is a glimmer of hope.
C’mon over to texas, let’s be disposable together? We can ride disposable horses, grill disposable steaks, and if you’d rather not possess fine dining accoutrements – we can eat on Chinet disposable paper plates. Or not, your call, dgrl.
For what it’s worth, you’re not alone in feeling alone.
I’m here.
I know they wish I would just kill myself and get out of their lives. Can I come be disposable with you and Disposable Human?
Why do you think they wish you would kill yourself? If they wanted you out of their lives then they would stop communicating with you and would ignore you.
And even if they did, why give them what they want?
They are most likely concerned about your well being and don’t know how to express that or what to say to you. I’m guessing you’re all quite young. They are probably confused, worried and overwhelmed.
Have you told them how you’re feeling and what’s going on with your head? They would want to help, especially if its family you refer to.
Talk to them, who knows what might come of it.