its not an easy life i live its far from it, the fact that i hear voices telling me i’m going to die and they are going to come after me till i die is extremely petrifying and that is just the tip of the ice berg i live in constant fear that someone is trying to kill , that someone is in the house trying to get me, i always hear foot steps as if they are right behind me, im scared to sleep of even shutting my eyes for that matter i don’t sleep for 3-4 days at a time till i pass out is the only sleep i get, i have 0 apatite i’m anorexic, i have to see a phycologist and a phyciatrist every week just so i dont go insane, this isnt a life i want to live no one should feel the pain and terror that i feel every day im not saying i have it the worst but i sure have it fucking bad i feel like im in hell every second of my life i have to cut to slow down the pain but when i do i have a voice in my head telling me to “cut deeper” or “cut more” that if i didnt he would come after me, iv been to hospitals multipule times due to failed suicide attempts, i just want it all to end iv been like this for 3 years now
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I cant imagine how scary that must be. But… you do have one important strength here. Unlike many schizophrenics, you know the voices are in your mind. Many dont. Many believe the voices. Those poor souls are missing a huge defense. One that you still have. You’re not insane if you know its not real, even if it scares you.
but i do believe they are real when they talk to me and when i see things wether it be people, figures its not something my brain tells me about till after, it drives me into the ground deeper and deeper as the fear becomes worse and worse
Are there any meds that work? I know a lot of the time they dont work so well, but sometimes they do.
well being on 1000mg of seriquel makes me a vegetable and gives me a tiny bit of sleep but i dont say it helps