Nothing but confusion

To be completely honest, the thought of taking my own life is terrifying. I’ve thought of it a lot of times, but I can’t seem to find any other way out. I’m only 20 years old, for many life is just beginning, but for me it feels like there is nothing left ahead. I can’t continue in school, I can’t afford it even with scholarships and financial aid. I have other options but they all end in debt. My life at home is bad, my parents argue all the time. They never really listen to what I have to say. I get yelled at for expressing how I really feel so I keep my mouth shut. Lately everything has been going wrong. All my friends are gone. I have no one to talk to. Everyone that said would be there for me vanished. My boyfriend left me too, he had his own things to take care of. I don’t blame him, I mostly dragged him down. I guess it’s good he got away on time. My biggest issue now is that I’m invisible to everyone around me. It’s a suffocating feeling. I want all of this pain to end. Anyone that doesn’t call me an idiot for feeling so down tells me that it gets better. I’m determined to make changes, to get out of this slump. But no matter how hard I try, or how hard I look, I can’t find where to start. I’m in complete darkness.