tired

tired of my pain

tired of this place

tired of clenching my teeth at night, tired of his voice, tired of the cold hard floor and the lousy couch bed, tired of being a woman beaten to a pulp turning her strength against herself, tired of rosaries and patriarchal religions, tired of men who dont care, tired of the demons, tired. tired of them having kind parents. tired of the thoughts. tired of the anxieties so deep they prevent you from doing anything at all, tired of being afraid, tired of this draining, loud, triggering, horrific life i lead, tired. tired of pretending, tired of the four letters, tired of the lonely, tired of the humans, tired of all the cruelty, tired of the wall of glass i can never punch thru at all while they live and i die slowly unseen, tired of stigma and disability and having to fucking hide it, tired of this cruel ass world and the asshole on the bus who triggered me deliberately coming up behind me and hitting me with his bag to torture me, little prick, little fuck, little bullshit world, tired of everyone misunderstanding everything, tired of humans, tired of the evil winning and the good dying, tired of so much panic i drop shit and tremble and cower in my own apt., tired of all the loss, tired of having to keep aging when all i am doing is dying, tired of the endless to do list and no relief or comfort or help while the others get so much of it just for being them, fuck all to the women, leave them to rot, rally around the men folk, fuck all to the poor, fuck all to me, the above is strictly my opinion, dont read too much into it, i am not you, you are not me, all they do is judge, tired.