13 more days until my 60th birthday. I’ll be in San Francisco, visiting the GGB……I wonder………my heart function continues to deteriorate. There is no way the govt would put me high on a list for a transplant since I am on disability (little to no value to the US Govt). If I decide not to jump, I think I may just stop taking my heart meds and let nature take its course. I still have a nice little inheritance to blow on travel.
What do you guys think?
6 comments
Go traveling, definitely.
It’s cool that you made it to 60, you could potentially make it to 80, 90 or beyond?
I feel for ya. Your demographic (men over 50) is more likely than most to commit suicide, but society doesn’t seem to think it’s as tragic as when a teenager does the deed. My mom actually once said to me “it’s sad when young people die, but with the old people you’re expecting it, so that’s not so sad”.
She’s quite the philosopher.
Happy B-day (in 13 days) and good luck.
Lol, that’s very encouraging…
let nature take its course… you’re on the home stretch now anyway (;
I’ve cheated death twice. In 2005 I developed a severe case of pancreatitis, which is frequently fatal at the stage I was in. Instead I developed type II diabetes. The docs said if I had waited another 30 minutes I would have gone into a diabetic coma and since I live alone……
The 2nd time was Aug 11, 2009. I went into the ER with what I thought were really bad allergies. Instead, the docs pointed out my legs (suddenly the size of tree trunks) and told me I was in congestive heart failure. Again…had I waited another 30 minutes my heart would have exploded. Three months later my heart was deemed strong enough for a quad bypass. It’s enlarged and the lower left quadrant doesn’t work very well. Overall function continues to degrade. Oddly enough, I have never had a heart attack.
But I cheated death twice…………………
I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Man, i hear you loud and clear. Living with multiple disabilities and severe and chronic pain is not living. It’s a canoe ride down the Whyme Pipeline. I’ve contemplated the GGB too and I’ve walked the length several times (back when I could actually walk more than ten feet). But the leap isn’t always successful. And there’s too much time involved to feel the terror of what’s about to happen.
I’ve been told also that procedures that could make me better would not be wasted on me. That’s what happens when profiteering controls healthcare. There’s nothing worse than being backed into a corner and I can tell you feel that sort of strain. Do what you have to do, but I do hope there is a better solution and better days for you.
– peace