I got dependent on benzos through sheer stupidity (lots of anxiety that I could have handled without meds). Was very careful in the beginning about using them, but it escalated as stresses got worse. Now I can barely leave the house, haven’t worked for 3 months and don’t stand a chance of going back. I can barely sleep. I’ve tried tapering the benzos and getting off of it, but haven’t had much success or enough supply, The doctors are not supportive.
I do have a will to live, but with not being able to go back to work, borrow money or medical support to get off those darn benzos, I don’t know what else to do. I’m trying to taper, but it’s pure hell, anxiety most of the day. I’ve never felt so lost in my entire life. Wish I could just peacefully die in my sleep. I feel so ashamed because of this dependence that snuck up on me slowly. How could I have been so stupid not to connect 2 and 2 earlier when there was a much better chance to wean off the lower dose?
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What dosage are you on. My doc wants a note from my psychiatrist to say I can still take clonazapam for my schizophrenia and its going to suck because my psychiatrist last time said he doesn’t like benzos but it helps with my voices. Even .25 mg helps. I’m going to be one determined suicidal person if o go back to hearing voices again sigh
The trouble with benzos is that they may help you tremendously at first, but if you use them for too long (more than 2-4 week), you risk tolerance and benzo withdrawal, which could make yor schizophrenia and voices 10x worse. I’d discuss with your Dr. and use benzos if you absolutely must. If you do take benzos in the end, don’t get any short-lasting once (Xanax, Ativan) since they’re so hard to get off of because of their short life. Klonopin is also too potent to come off of. If you must do a benzo, you’re better off using something long lasting like valium, librium, etc. They’re easier to come off of. Beware that benzos are CNS depressants (like alcohol), and will make you very depressed over long use. And there can be a lot of terrible rebound anxiety if you decide to stop taking them. Stopping a benzos CT (cold turkey) can be life-threatening because of seizures.
By the way, I got to 2mg Ativan, which is waaay to high. Don’t let the dosages fool you. I started with 0.5mg Ativan, thinking that was a low dose, but it’s really the same as 5mg Valium. 0.25mg Xanax = 0.5mg Ativan. Look up benzo equivalence charts online. You’ll be surprised, but a lot of docs aren’t very educated about benzos. They’re happy to prescribe, but if you need to go off it, they won’t be much help.