Everything blurs past in a haze. I’m not thinking straight, I’m barely thinking at all. Tears come to my eyes at the strangest of times. These rushes of sadness and loneliness are almost unbearable. When people ask why I’m crying I can’t explain, they’d never understand even if I could explain. People simply assume I’m looking for attention which of course I’m not and of course it also leads me into a deeper darker place. This is the point where the suicidal thoughts start to take over. I walk to a quiet place away from everyone. I smoke, but it’s not enough. That’s when I start self harming and believe me when I say that once I start I never want to stop.
This is what I go through on a daily basis, this is what depression is like for me and this is what it leads me to do and what it leads people to think.
4 comments
I can relate to everything you just said.
Reading your story brings me great sadness as I too suffer a similar agony. Unfortunately, the suicidal thoughts have completely taken over and broken me. I hope you find your way out and can live a happier life.
Thanks, I wish the same for you. No one deserves to feel so low in their lives.
Little Wolf ,
stop the self harm please! the attention you crave will come, but not overnight! relax! you have my attention! OOOOOH WOOOO!