Waiting for the outcome of a criminal investigation. Could take months. A few weeks ago I was on top of the world. Now the good things are all in the past. Lost my job. Worst of all, whatever happens I’m putting my family through hell. Not sure I can live with that. They don’t deserve this pain. Better off without me I think. Nights are best. I want to stop the world at 1 a.m. Hate it when dawn comes up. Another pointless day to struggle through. Everyone else is doing stuff, contributing to the world. As I was, up to a few weeks ago. Now I’m useless, pointless. I don’t think I’m a bad person. I think I’ve done good in the world. But all that now counts for nothing. I think of going away for ever. Every day.
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same here im in the same situation
Tell us more? Where are you from?
hi i would’nt wanna expose whr m from here so anyways ur siuation is far better than mine i lost my job 5 months ago am depressed and suicidal everyday 🙁
On top of the world to losing all the good things in a matter of weeks…sounds like me.
What happened?
I think a lot of us here are in the same boat. I, too, had what mattered to me the most when 2014 ended. I had the love of my beautiful fiancée and her three wonderful kids. We had a plan for the future. Getting a house together in 2015 and getting married in 2016. Life was gonna be tough, but it would be worthwhile. It would have a purpose. It would have happiness and joy.
Then 2015 came and it all went to hell. Plans were aborted, love disappeared, I was abandoned and erased from their lives. After 5 1/2 years together, she had gone back to the ex-husband she cheated on and divorced in order to be with me in the first place. The one she had spent our entire relationship trashing as a terrible husband and even worse father.
Now she told me that he was Mr. Wonderful, and I was nothing to her and the kids. After all these years of complete devotion. I gave them everything I had, both literally and figuratively. Now I am left with nothing, except a broken heart and a crushed soul.
The very last thing she said to me was that she never wanted to communicate with me ever again. And neither did the kids. They had him now, and I was erased from their minds. Not only I didn’t exist now, but in their minds I never did. She even made a point of telling me that she threw out everything I ever gave her.
“I want you to know that I kept nothing.” That was the last sentence of her letter to me. Didn’t even sign it. She just reached the bottom of the page and stopped.
And regardless of the betrayal and the pain they have caused me, I still love them with all my heart. I still long to see them and be with them every second of every day.
I’m near the end now. Not much time left. Wish me success.
Thanks for asking, Survival. Not sure there’s much point in detail. The question is, what to do? Friends say hang in there, you’re much more than this thing that’s got you in trouble. Maybe. But right now it it doesn’t feel like it. And even in the best of outcomes (legally speaking), what’s happened has happened, and it’ll be with me/us forever. Would my family be better off without me as a constant reminder? I’m less worried about me, and more about them. Though yes, I’m worried about me too. My life has stopped. Why not stop it for good?
And thanks too, Worthless. I’ve read your story a few times and I can see you’re in great pain. Why are we so cruel to each other? Why can’t what we do good and what we do bad be balanced when others judge us? You deserve better.
Ouch! When relationship ends like yours did, that really hurts. Sounds like the lady can’t make up her mind what she wants and she hurt you badly. But…from my own experience, I felt terrible when I lost love. I wanted to die, couldn’t imagine life without them, cried, got angry, got into trouble…all of that. Fortunately, I hung on and found someone else who truly loves me. We’ve been together for 15 yrs already. We’ve been thru a lot in that time, too. It hasn’t always been easy, but thru it all, he has stuck it out with me. You can find the same thing. Don’t give in to your pain. Lean on friends for support ( ie: the people here who understand how bad you feel). I’ll help hold you up. Choose to survive. Please?