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suicide

by maxwell
written by maxwell

I go for walks every night at around 11-12 hoping that ill be the next murder victim or poor person in that hit and run you see on the news, i do this because i do want to die but i don’t want the people around me to have to deal with the thought that i committed suicide and there to blame for not making my life better, even though some of them are in fact to blame, I don’t like the thought of moving my problem so i want to die in a way that they know there was nothing they could have done about it a “natural” death if you will because i care about the people around me even though i don’t care about my self

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6 comments

schizophrenia 222 4/27/2015 - 4:22 am

Sounds logical maybe swear at someone too.. Yeah but you may wake up in a coma.

maxwell 4/27/2015 - 8:04 am

i don’t like confrontation with people or else that would be a glorious idea to speed up the process

flatliner 4/27/2015 - 4:34 am

I know exactly how are you feeling man. I also try to kill myself without seeming that i committed suicide so that nobody can find out that i was so depressed and desperate and nobody can blame me for doing it. I try a different things than you like when i am in the car i purposely don’t wear any seat belt so that if an accident happens i will fucking die.
But first, why do you want to die? I am interested to hear your story…

maxwell 4/27/2015 - 7:59 am

i live with schizoprhenia, both my parents kicked me out of there houses because i have a mental disorder and im to much to handle, i failed high school, i cant work because of this disorder its to stressful i even had to drop out of uni on the 1st day because i cant be around people the only way i cant leave the house is by having music in my ear to calm the voices and voilent visions to a bare minimum

Randall 4/27/2015 - 4:41 am

I think there are people who unconsciously do exactly that. They’re in victim mode all the time. Then they wonder why everything is happening to them. They don’t see they’re creating it.

Hmm.. ya know..sometimes when I make a comment here a light bulb goes off over my head!! Zoink!! I do this sometimes! Jump’n Jesus! Thanks for posting this, Maxwell

maxwell 4/27/2015 - 8:03 am

well i have schizophrenia which puts my mind in victim mode or on alert scared 24/7 which makes life almost intolerable to live, it puts me in really bad situations like when i see people i have to look away, and when i do it to police force of habit i get pulled over/questioned etc its hard but i cant help it

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