Tired

Im so tired.
I’m tired of being caught in the middle.
I’m tired of being treated like dirt; like nothing.
I’m tired of being treated like I’m not worth anybody’s precious time.
I’m tired of living.
I’m tired of breathing.
I’m tired of feeling.
But if I end it all today,
I die with a burden on my shoulders,
And selfishness in my name.
I would die leaving my boyfriend here to grieve alone;
God knows he’s as suicidal as I am.
I would die knowing all the pain I put my “family” through.
I would die never accomplishing all the things I wanted;
A family.
Marrying the love of my life.
Traveling the world.
Meeting my idols.
Making a difference.
Hearing someone say,
“Because of you I’m still here”
But honestly…
I’m so tired to the point where,
I could be selfish enough to do it.
To end it.
I’m so tired.