I’ve been smoking cigarettes since I was in grade 7. Yep, that’s right, a 13 year old kid, smoking cigarettes. Now, I am in grade 9, and as much as I try to quit, I never can. I can’t get myself to not crave cigarettes anymore.
I always had thought that they would slowly kill me, but I guess they didn’t. They affect the way I do some things, like singing, or running – but they haven’t killed me yet.
Addiction is a hard thing to get over. Even now as I am writing this, my body is craving a cigarette. I know I need to quit- that’s the thing, I just can’t will myself to do it. To put down the pack and the lighter and walk away. I’ve tried, but I always fail.
I’m a failure with things like that. I can never let things go, for I hold onto them until it kills me mentally and physically.
I’m addicted to things like that. Like cigarettes, and the feeling of being alone.
I’m addicted to pain. Not that I so much crave it, or need it, it’s just sometimes that I need to make myself bleed to see if I’m still alive. To see if i’m living anymore, because sometimes, I feel like I’m not.
I crave to see my own blood, and I can’t help it.
I crave cigarettes that maybe one day are going to kill me.
I can’t let go of this stupid addiction.