I’m so unhappy. I feel there must be something wrong with me in that I don’t have any friends or relationships, I have no one to talk to and I’m desperately in love with a person who does not give a shit about me. I feel worthless and guilty all the time and it’s devouring me. I can’t accomplish anything without being moderately intoxicated. I hate myself and feel like I don’t deserve to be alive. I try to change my thinking and I can’t seem to stop it, but I want to feel better so badly. I just want to feel okay with myself but it seems I can’t no matter how hard I try. I can’t think about anyone except myself anymore and the worst part is I’m not even a kid anymore, I’m almost 23 years old yet I feel like a helpless baby. I want to escape but I don’t have any money, I completely depend on my parents and I spent all the money I did have on “healthy food” this past school year, hoping that would make a difference. I want to change and be happy again…please help. I really like when people respond to my posts, it is probably the honest communication (or communication period) that gives me some hope. I’m really selfish, maybe one day I’ll be able to help someone else with their issues, but right now ‘one day’ doesn’t even feel like it could exist without being a continuation of this hell I’m in.