I’m living on a hope thinking that one day I’ll wake up and magically life will make sense and have purpose, but each morning I awake from the dream that tomorrow will never come. Before I go to sleep I cry, pray, beg and plead to God to let it end to take me while I sleep to the only place I’ll ever be at peace but my prayers go unanswered. So I awake to the thoughts of suicide. I’ve convinced myself that that Hell can’t be any worse than my Hell.
There’s no one to talk to – no one to take the pain away – no one who can help me.
I have no hope…… I dream no more…..
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I am here. We may not know each other but we do have some things in common. You are suicidal and so am I. You ask God to take you away while you sleep and so do I. I also believe that one day we’ll wake up and it will all be a dream. That I’ll wake up in a beautiful place where nothing bad happens.
I know I am not alone but it saddens me to know that anyone is as sad as I am but it is obvious that life is misery and so many people understand the pain.
It is rather sad but it makes it easier for everyone that knows pain because that way they’re less misunderstood.
I feel extremely stupid for asking, so please forgive me, but what do you mean by “one day we’ll wake up and it will all be a dream”?
It’s okay. By that I mean that sometimes I like to think that life is a dream and that one day we will wake up from this nightmare; that it’s all a dream and when we wake up one day we will still be a child who has so many chances in life. I know, it’s kinda stupid to think that way but that’s how I see it.
No, it’s not stupid at all…I completely understand, and I too have fantasized about life being a nightmare, and hoping that someday I too would wake up to a world where I feel connected, wanted, needed, relevant. Life has always felt like a prison sentence that must be endure!
Like what happens in the matrix movie, awaking to a new reality after living in the false reality.