Sad that I have nowhere else to vent, because no one listens to me. Hell, I hardly get a response here.
Anyway, I told a little white lie to get out of work early yesterday and hang out with the dreamboat that will never be mine. But I guess I’m lucky I can get to take out a guy like that even if it’s not exactly a date and he’ll never see me that way. -sigh- But it has its perks. I get to be out with a gorgeous guy and he gets to “feel spoiled for once.” It’s nice that we can talk openly at least so I’m not holding it all in until I’m on the edge looking for a good spot to lay down in front of a train at, like I was the last time I posted… I guess I’ve accepted that I’ll be homeless again and fear I’ll never get a decent hourly full time job to live off of. I do feel kind of jerked around. I know it’s out of their control but still, I need stability and a real job but out in the real world, a poor person like me with a computer degree who has started a nonprofit before is equal to the crack whore in the hood who hasn’t set foot inside a school since the 2nd grade. Everyone says I have ZERO education or experience to work with. Even now with 8 months at 2 paid jobs. I can’t get a job in the real world coming from poverty and I know this. But this guy I care deeply for needs a place to live too, and he has a bit of a situation on his hands that forces him to get an address or else go to prison. So as I’m trying to get my stuff together to start hauling it with me one bag at a time back to work for storage, I’m trying to find a place we could afford that would work for him. It looks like I may be able to keep a maximum allotment of 15 hrs a week at my first job but that still limits me to barely being able to contribute $300 towards renting a place or even a room. So I still wish I could find a full time job that will pay me for the hours that I’m there and not this assigned allotment of time slots deal that can end up turning 8 hour days into 1.75 hours of paycheck. Really I do need a solid deal. Right? I deserve that much don’t I? I think I do. I just want a normal life. Fuck, I want a good life. I want THE good life. I’m tired of this.
4 comments
Hi d. It’s like quicksand, isn’t it? Poverty and “lack of education/experience”. It keeps pulling you down no matter how hard you work.
You could always try what I did. Lie your ass off at your next job interview. I flunked out of school and am a general dumbass, but I learned that if you’re a hard worker, employers will *want* to believe in you, no matter what sort of lies you make up for the sake of formality. So set your sights on a job that you’re good at, print up a killer résumé that says you tutored the Queen in croquet for 12 years or whatever, and get yourself in the door! Worst they can do is fire you 😛
But I’m a smart kid who got all A’s in college and have a degree. It’s just not an Ivy League degree and I’m over 25 so people give me the no education/experience bullshit excuse.
That sucks :/ The school I got thrown out of is pretty well respected in my field, so even as a flunkout I impressed employers. How wrong is that. A label, a stamp of some snotty alma mater, is all that matters whether or not you have any skills or brains. Well, I still say lie your ass off to even the odds. If they’re going to play that game then cheat!
PS Age is the easiest thing to lie about. I’ve been 27 ever since I was 18, and I’ll die 27 😉