I can’t stand it

I know I posted earlier, and I am afraid it IS coming very soon. But I just have to get it off my chest.

I don’t deserve to work my ass off on 8-10 hour days for 3 hours of pay just to come “home” to a place I have to leave in a week, with nowhere to go after the next week, with my jobs on the line at risk of losing all income, just to cry all god damn evening until I finally pass out for the night.

I deserve a full time job that I can live off of.

I deserve a place to live.

I don’t deserve this constant cycle of homelessness every other month, for months to years at a time that my life has been since I am so well traveled and well educated.

I don’t deserve to have all that education and experience thrown in my face by snot nosed rich punk recruiters telling me I have not a lick of either.

And I deserve to have a big man waiting to plow me when I get home.

But instead I get this shit. Working my ass off for fucking nothing, to be dropped on a dime and tossed out to the streets, crying my fucking eyes out because I’ll never know what it feels like to so much as hold hands or sit close with either of the two men I love. And people wonder why I feel like I don’t matter worth a fucking shit and want to die?!???!??