I recently have been feeling more screwed up than usual. I am honestly amazed that I haven’t been asked to leave my house. I am making my family’s life miserable, but they still attempt to love me. I wish that I could be a better person. We all know that it’s my fault that my family’s a mess at this point. I literally am a waste of space.
There are only a couple things keeping me on this earth:
1. My friend and her mom. They are the nicest people I have ever met, and they are the main reason I find hope in this world.
2. The saying that “Things get better”. I don’t know how true it is, but after 5 bad years, I could use things getting better.
3. Little things. These get me by day to day.
4. Distractions. Currently, I am learning German. Lots of distractions there.
5. The hope that I will eventually make things up to my family. Eventually I will be a better person
I can guarantee that I have fucked up more than you, no matter who you are. I fucked up so bad that I don’t even have the courage to say what I’ve done anonymously. So, hopefully you will find some hope in this. If I am this fucked up and people still have hope in me, you have someone who has hope in you.