What’s the point

Just to be upfront with you cause I’m not ready for a relationship right now. But your post touched me cause I’m kinda in the same situation. I’m a 51 year old male, who’s struggled with mental health and addiction issues my entire life. I’m bipolar and on medication and also I’ve been sober for 15 months so far this time around. I have one child (a son) who will be graduating from high school in a couple weeks. I did manage to get my demons under control and actually I was the one who raised our son while my wife worked. Him and I have a great relationship, but it’s still not the same as it was since he’s living with his mother while I’m living at my parents house. Long story short, but last year I found out my wife was cheating on me. I was willing to work things out, but after 24 years of marriage she decided she wanted a divorce. It should become final any day now. Not that it really matters now, but since you mentioned your weight loss in your post, I lost 120 pounds and meanwhile my wife is morbidly obese. So much for losing weight making me more appealing to her. Anyway, this last year has really sucked. I feel hurt, betrayed, hopeless, and scared. I’m trying to stay strong for my son, but it’s an uphill battle. My visits with him are the only thing that really give me any pleasure. I really thought that I would spend the rest of my life with my wife, but that dream is shattered. The prospect of being alone for the rest of my life sounds just horrible. Where I go from here, I don’t know. I think of suicide a lot and made some attempts. Once I nearly succeeded but 911 was called just in time. Now, I think I’m just too chicken shit to go through with it. In your post, you were kinda critical of guys who only want an online relationship. As much as I don’t want to be alone forever, I’m just still very hurt, scared, and not to trusting. I guess that maybe just being friends is what I need for now.

Yes, it does help to know that I’m not the only one feeling this way and thank you for replying to my comment. I believe you’re not exaggerating about having zero friends. I don’t have any either. I talk to my son, my parents, doctors and my social worker and that’s it. I know I need more in my life, but I’m not confident enough to try new social situations. I am envious of you living with your daughter. That was the other hard part of this whole thing – not living with my son anymore. I see him 2 or 3 times a week and talk to him on the phone everyday, but it’s not the same as living together. He really was and still is my best friend. I don’t really know what else to say. I’m really pretty shy, but you sound like a nice person and I wish you the best. I come to this website often and it seems like there’s a lot of young people so when I saw your post I couldn’t resist commenting. You can count me as your “computer” friend. Sorry if that sounds really dorky.