“not good enough. Not pretty enough. Not fit enough.”
It echoes it echoes it echoes
Unwanted, unloved, and alone
You’re sick, you’re dying, and you’re cold
The smell of another doctors office
And another face like stone
The sound of machines buzzing
And you wonder why he didn’t show
Daddy, don’t you care
To know if your little girl will live
Why were you never there?
From sad beginning to bitter end
Mom, you tried your best
You’ll always be my best friend
But I guess I failed the test
It’s time for my greatest sin
Bang
Test the gun
Bang
One more time
A bullet for every hole in this heart of mine
One
Swallow the barrel
Two
Try not to cry
Three
Pull the trigger
Don’t tell a soul goodbye
16 comments
What I know is a lot less than the things I will never know. What I do know though is this… I know you are loved more than you could ever imagine. That it is when we hurt the most that you are ready to meet Him. Maybe for the first time and maybe it’s just a reunion. I am hear to listen if you would like to talk.
I really appreciate that. Thanks, sf
Yeah for sure. So tell me about yourself.
Haha you sure about that? Its sort of a boring story.
Yeah I am sure.
Well.. Hm… There isn’t a lot to tell. Im a broke college student. I’m in and out of hospitals constantly. My father is an ass hole. Love my mom more than anything, but she’s oblivious to everything. I’m a photographer, a writer, a musician, and a half-way-wannabe artist. Dad was abusive. I have horrendous nightmares and a royally fucked up mind that never stops. I think that pretty much sums it up. See? Nothing interesting. All cliche and played out.
Well I believe we all deserve to be heard.
Coming from another broke college student with an abusive father and that wants to be an artist, you are good enough. You are an amazing writer and photographer, as well as one of the kindest people I’ve met. I’d gladly take on your pain if I could.
“You are amazing. You are beautiful. You are fit.”
Let that be what echoes.
You are wanted, you are loved, and you are not alone
You know Salt and I are going to stick around whether you want us to or not, and neither of us are going to just let you go without a fight. Also, the next time you want to be sung to sleep, listen to this, I’ll apologize up front for my lack of vocal range:P
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OAVL61yeCYs
Walrus! I knew you were holding back that rare talent! Damn fine rendition of Louis Armstrong if I may say so.
Sammi, don’t make me & Walrus go all barbershop on you. While Ceph pole dances.
Such a beautiful song. Right to sleep. Thanks, walrus. And salt… Don’t you threaten me with a good time.
I knew those pole dancing classes would come in handy! Hey, anything for you guys!
Heya Samms. This poem is so cold. Like doctor’s offices and hospitals and all those places where you never want to find yourself alone. I’m so sorry you have to go through this without the right support. When I’m emperor of the universe, I’ll force everyone within at 1000 mi radius to come dressed as clowns & bring you balloons & stuff and sing songs til you fall asleep.
Eh I wish I had checked this site and seen this last night, I was sorta losing it at 2 am also. Stupid clowns & their balloons wouldn’t shut up.
Anyway, I hope this morning is better for you 🙂 Don’t make me send that emergency email…
That email may very well be in order
Coming right up dearie…
Thanks salt:3
…You better say goodbye…
I’m not sure if I can take another beautiful person I met here just dropping off of the earth. Very selfish, I admit. And when I use that word, I don’t mean physically, to me beauty is never just physical. I mean those brains of yours. Your soul, if you will. I’ve really enjoyed our conversing.
But hey, you gotta do what is best for you.
We’re all in this together. I’m rootin for ya!.