I just wanna die sometimes..

Sometimes I wish I could die in a car wreck or something, so my family members won’t blame themselves. I’ve seen quotes that stand up to the fact that we give people signs that we are not ‘okay’. We give them so many signs they are just too oblivious to the truth to see it. I don’t have to cover up my cuts, I mean yeah I put a little powder on them, but that is practically nothing. It doesn’t make them disappear. That doesn’t take the pain and misery away. Doesn’t take away all the depression. I love my family to death but currently all I wanna feel is pain. Self inflicted pain. My father always inflicted pain upon me. Made sure I knew that I am worthless and that he wishes he never brought me in this world. That I ruined his life. If my own father, who only wanted to control me, doesn’t love me then why should anyone else?