1. What’s your age? I am 19
2. Are you religious at all? I used to be more than I am now. Illnesses will wake you up to reality and you start believing what’s really true. What’s your stance? Atheist.
3. What’s your first memory as a child, the earliest you can remember? My step dad yelling at my mother and being scared in my room, crying my eyes out. I was 3 years old.
4. What’s the best memory you have in your whole life up until now? Being with my great grandpa in an old WWII museum as he told me stories of how it was when he was in the war. That was an amazing day and one I won’t soon forget.
5. What’s the worst memory? My whole childhood is a bad memory. Also when I was diagnosed with Crohns.
6. Who is the one person in this entire world you are closest to? As much as I would like to say my mom or dad, sadly I can’t. Too many bad memories between them both. It used to be my great grandpa until he passed. Now it’s pretty lonely in my world.
7. Who has hurt you the most in life and what did they do? Mom, dad, stepdad. A lot of verbal and physical abuse. I was called stupid, ugly, worthless, shouldn’t have been born, they wished they had aborted me, etc. Very painful memories.
8. If you were traumatized what problems do you have from it today? Ex: PTSD, anxiety, social issues, etc? All of these mentioned.
9. What do you do to get you through the pain each day? I have no choice but to deal with the deck of cards I have been dealt until I find a way outta here.
10. Do you have any medical issues, mental or physical? Oh yes, both.
11. How many people do you know that have committed suicide? And how did they do it? I know of 2 personally…but lots that I know of. The two people I knew personally were my good friend in elementary school cause he was gay and couldn’t tell his parents. He was 16 and hung himself in his room. Also my cousin from a drug overdose.
12. Do you know anyone with a terminal illness? Not currently, not personally anyway.
13. Were you physically or sexually abused? (Answer only if you’re comfortable.) obviously.byes.
14. When were you first suicidal? I remember wanting to die when I was a kid.
15. Have you attempted it yet? If so, what did you do? I tried once but it was a stupid way, would have never worked.
16. Do you believe in assisted suicide? More than you know.
17. Should someone with children under 18 be allowed to “go?” If their kids have someone to take care of them, I think they have the right to go if they want to.
18. Should abortion be legal? Not late term, but yes otherwise.
19. What’s your opinion on the death penalty? All for it. Why should criminals get life in prison so we can care for their dumb asses?
20. So you have trouble leaving your house? Sometimes, but due to my crohns it is worse.
21. What (if anything) would bring you out of being suicidal? A cure for my illnesses and for mental anguish.
22. Would you leave a note or make a will before you go? Who would you write to? I don’t really know. I don’t have much to leave anyone or to say…so probably not.
23. You have the chance to give a past loved one 1 hour of life back, but you have to give up one year of yours. Would you do it? Sure. Gonna die anyhow. What’s losing one year gonna do? Actually why would I want to bring them back for an hour just to have them die again?
24. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose? I’m ready to go right now, nothing really to give up.
25. When was the last time you were nice to someone and did NOT expect anything in return for it? I’m always nice to people but people haven’t been so nice to me.
26. What’s the one thing you regret the most? Being born.
27. What is more difficult for you, looking into someones eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someones eyes when they are telling you how they feel? Neither. I have no problem with eye contact.
28. If you are at the doctor’s office and he has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live, Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? I’d probably tell everyone, of course. I can’t hide shit like that.
29. What do you do with your remaining days? Would you be afraid? I’d be looking for a quick way out, you think I’m going to wait for the time to run out? Nope.
30. What’s the worst pain you have ever felt, physically or mentally? Abdominal cramping to the point of screaming and blacking out. And there’s been so much wrong with me mentally it would take up a whole page. I just wanna go. ASAP.
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I don’t feel like answering, but I read a few of your answers and I completely disagree with what you had to say with the death penalty. The death penalty actually costs more then keeping them alive, also, if they did something worthy of a death penalty, then rather having them die a very quick death and not really suffering the consequences of their actions.
Apologies forgot to add a sentence. Was going to say suffering the consequences through life in jail is much better punishment then a quick way out with death
I respect your opinion.
1. What’s your age? I am 19
me: I am 19 too.
2. Are you religious at all? I used to be more than I am now. Illnesses will wake you up to reality and you start believing what’s really true. What’s your stance? Atheist.
me: I was a muslim. now I am an agnostic.
3. What’s your first memory as a child, the earliest you can remember? My step dad yelling at my mother and being scared in my room, crying my eyes out. I was 3 years old.
me: I was 2.5 years old then.. my dad bought me a toy gun..
4. What’s the best memory you have in your whole life up until now? Being with my great grandpa in an old WWII museum as he told me stories of how it was when he was in the war. That was an amazing day and one I won’t soon forget.
me: a few years ago I had a really great orgasm.. so great that I felt like my brains would explode from the pleasure.. thats the best memory I can think of..
5. What’s the worst memory? My whole childhood is a bad memory. Also when I was diagnosed with Crohns.
me: about a year ago I had a really bad headache because of sinusitis.. it was 3x worse than the pain of toothache and circumcision combined.. I couldn’t stop screaming because of the pain..
6. Who is the one person in this entire world you are closest to? As much as I would like to say my mom or dad, sadly I can’t. Too many bad memories between them both. It used to be my great grandpa until he passed. Now it’s pretty lonely in my world.
me: the only person I have is myself.. I really hate my family and no one else knows me..
7. Who has hurt you the most in life and what did they do? Mom, dad, stepdad. A lot of verbal and physical abuse. I was called stupid, ugly, worthless, shouldn’t have been born, they wished they had aborted me, etc. Very painful memories.
me: my mom.. by bringing me to this world.. she should have aborted me..
8. If you were traumatized what problems do you have from it today? Ex: PTSD, anxiety, social issues, etc? All of these mentioned.
me: I was traumatized many times but it didn’t effect me much..
9. What do you do to get you through the pain each day? I have no choice but to deal with the deck of cards I have been dealt until I find a way outta here.
me: I try to think that I am like neo from the matrix… this world is an illusion and morpheus and his team will save me..
10. Do you have any medical issues, mental or physical? Oh yes, both.
me: I feel like I have autism but can’t diagnosed.. I have sinusitis, toothache and myopia.
11. How many people do you know that have committed suicide? And how did they do it? I know of 2 personally…but lots that I know of. The two people I knew personally were my good friend in elementary school cause he was gay and couldn’t tell his parents. He was 16 and hung himself in his room. Also my cousin from a drug overdose.
me: I don’t know anyone..
12. Do you know anyone with a terminal illness? Not currently, not personally anyway.
me: no.
13. Were you physically or sexually abused? (Answer only if you’re comfortable.) obviously.byes.
me: I was physically abused by my peers at school.. I am not sure if this counts as a sexual abuse but my parents circumcised me although it was against my will.. I miss my foreskin
14. When were you first suicidal? I remember wanting to die when I was a kid.
me: at the age of 5.. because I wanted to be a girl but I am a boy.. btw I am not gay or anything.. I like girls only..
15. Have you attempted it yet? If so, what did you do? I tried once but it was a stupid way, would have never worked.
me: I have attempted many times but the fear of the pain I will feel was the only reason I stopped.. I want a painless method..
16. Do you believe in assisted suicide? More than you know.
me: yes.
17. Should someone with children under 18 be allowed to “go?” If their kids have someone to take care of them, I think they have the right to go if they want to.
me: yes.. if their lives are painful like mine and they have access to euthanasia..
18. Should abortion be legal? Not late term, but yes otherwise.
me: yes.
19. What’s your opinion on the death penalty? All for it. Why should criminals get life in prison so we can care for their dumb asses?
me: I think they should have the options for euthanasia..
20. So you have trouble leaving your house? Sometimes, but due to my crohns it is worse.
me: yes.. social anxiety..
21. What (if anything) would bring you out of being suicidal? A cure for my illnesses and for mental anguish.
me: money… billions of dollars, fame, power, intelligence and a bigger body at least 7 feet tall..
and these things will always be just a fantasy..
22. Would you leave a note or make a will before you go? Who would you write to? I don’t really know. I don’t have much to leave anyone or to say…so probably not.
me: lol who will read my note?
23. You have the chance to give a past loved one 1 hour of life back, but you have to give up one year of yours. Would you do it? Sure. Gonna die anyhow. What’s losing one year gonna do? Actually why would I want to bring them back for an hour just to have them die again?
me: I never had any loves ones..
24. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose? I’m ready to go right now, nothing really to give up.
me: nothing except the fear of pain.. its the only thing thats keeping me from killing myself..
25. When was the last time you were nice to someone and did NOT expect anything in return for it? I’m always nice to people but people haven’t been so nice to me.
me: I rarely meet people..
26. What’s the one thing you regret the most? Being born.
me: it’s the same for me..
27. What is more difficult for you, looking into someones eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someones eyes when they are telling you how they feel? Neither. I have no problem with eye contact.
me: none of these things are difficult for me..
28. If you are at the doctor’s office and he has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live, Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? I’d probably tell everyone, of course. I can’t hide shit like that.
me: i have no one to talk to about this..
29. What do you do with your remaining days? Would you be afraid? I’d be looking for a quick way out, you think I’m going to wait for the time to run out? Nope.
me: sleep, eat if my parents give me something to eat, and watch youtube.. that’s all..
30. What’s the worst pain you have ever felt, physically or mentally? Abdominal cramping to the point of screaming and blacking out. And there’s been so much wrong with me mentally it would take up a whole page. I just wanna go. ASAP.
me: it was a headache from sinusitis..
I always been against circumcision. I think it should be illegal to preform it on anyone who his under 18 unless medically neccessary. And For the Jews? Never trust a religion that says you gotta cut off the tip of your dick
And the orgasm? Ha I had some good ones. I’d edge the fuck out of my head till it was screaming to explode. Lol Rubbin all over myself, playing with my nips, inner thys and whatnot lol
@windows8user yeah but I have read all over the internet that girls feel even more pleasure than boys.. plus their clits are a lot sensitive.. is this true?
Yes but I heard it’s harder to learn than boys. For us, we really got to take our time to have the good one
1 more reason it sucks to be a guy
Wasnt hard to learn for me. A good orgasm is always a nice temporary stress reliever, but life still goes on and time keeps on a ticking. Nice description and visual wndozh8er, you must really be sensitive. 😉
I don’t give a fuck about pleasuring myself. Though i still do it occasionally. I used to do it alot on webcam for my online boyfriend. I would much rather watch him pleasure himself, mmmmmmmmmm
I want to get ice cream and lick it off him. Sadly the only thing i will get for now is phone sex until we meet in real life whenever that is meant to be?! I have to have sex with him before i die… Well i don’t, but… The fantasies
Yawn. I’d rather be doing it than talking about it. But i am too poor. Not interested in having sex with others though, so i will just wait for my online boyfriend. If i die a virgin, so be it. I don’t place a big deal on virginity but i cant imagine doing it with others its just wrong….
So uhm, yeah, er. About the weather today…
lol its duzo again with the weather… yeah its shitty today where I live..
W-what did i do?! 🙂
Aw, why shitty?
Umm, yeah let’s stop with the sexual stuff..getting too weird with this description stuff. There’s other websites for that.
Soo… i can’t ask hjerte what flavor icecream she’s talking about?
I scream for ice cream
But… but what flavor
WHAT FLAVOR
Italian mint ice scream is the best. Not sure why windows8 gets so much hate, windows10 is worse (tested it for a couple of weeks, then reverted back).
Just my two cents about the Windows debate, I won’t upgrade to Windows 8 until they kill Windows 7. I upgraded to Windows 7 after they killed Windows XP and yes, my computer is 9 years old but it still works so I don’t care.
Win7 is good, but if you have an old pc (which meets the requirements) win8 runs better, i’m on an almost 8 years old pc here (which was a bit outdated when i built it). If it ran worse i would have gone back to win7 right away.
Haha, I’m also too cheap to buy it and upgrade. My bro is in the IT business and he set it up using a copy he got from his Job. I miss WinXP like hell, those were some good times.
lol this comment thread is getting weird.. just like windows8user’s post – Darvins “100 reasons” post…dissected”
Windows8User. I am windows8phoneuser. Or windows7user on PC
I use windows 8 on PC atm and it’s pretty fun. I still like XP though so i keep it installed on dual boot 8))
@hjerteblomst lol you misunderstood.. I meant wndozh8er, I like to call him windows8user because i feel like it..
I have windows 8.1
Windows 8.1 is the shit ;p
They gotta add more apps for windows though.
on my laptop
I see his name as Windozer. Windowsdozer? Lol
Haha i gave myself the screen name Wndozh8er because I absolutely hated the concept of Windows 8. I tried it on my uncles computer and was like wtf is this? I miss windows 7.
Yeah i am not real keen to try Windows 8 because there … Well, i don’t think you can just get the start screen, only with the tiles… I like the Start button. Ah, i cant remember
I don’t understand how a company like Microsoft could do something so stupid as create Windows 8. It slows down productivity for people trying to do work, and files are harder to get to. They got scared of Apple.
If I was working with the CEO id point out that people use Apple iPads for different reasons than personal computers. Change for the sake of change is pointless and will disrupt productivity for people who use computers for work, which in turn will slow down the economy, which in turn will make us less money. Also most people have both personal computers and iPads, just like most people have landlines and cell phones.
I think they’re just trying to appeal to all these smartphone users and catch up with all these weird new trends.
Maybe they thought people would like that more.
I personally like it even though it seemed really stupid at first, but i guess they’ll drop it in the future like in windows 10 or so.
And here I thought wndozh8er didn’t like windows (the ones we look through)….
@Mark_1981 he doesnt like windows 8.. thats why its wndozh8er(windows8hater)
1. What’s your age?
22
2. Are you religious at all?
No
3. What’s your first memory as a child, the earliest you can remember?
Waking up in my cot when I was 3
4. What’s the best memory you have in your whole life up until now?
meeting my online boyfriend online for the first time
5. What’s the worst memory?
too many to mention
6. Who is the one person in this entire world you are closest to?
online boyfriend
7. Who has hurt you the most in life and what did they do?
alot of people have hurt me, but I’ll say the worst was a 12-13 year old girl who abused me, including sexual abuse, when I was 11-12 (she was kept down one grade)
8. If you were traumatized what problems do you have from it today?
I’m not sure if I fit the definition of ‘traumatized’, but I feel very messed up, and I most likely am. Losing my memory, writing the wrong word in place of another, inability to think, quick temper, etc
9. What do you do to get you through the pain each day?
Nothing. If anything ‘works’ its just a band-aid to me.
10. Do you have any medical issues, mental or physical?
No. I have never seen a doctor. I am sure I have issues but I have not been medically diagnosed, like I say i haven’t been to a doctor about it.
11. How many people do you know that have committed suicide?
One, think he slit his wrists and got drunk and overdosed or something. it happened online so I don’t really know…
12. Do you know anyone with a terminal illness?
No
13. Were you physically or sexually abused?
Yes, when I was 11-12 I got both
14. When were you first suicidal?
20, I think
15. Have you attempted it yet?
Yes, but I stopped because I CANNOT afford to fail.
16. Do you believe in assisted suicide?
Yes
17. Should someone with children under 18 be allowed to “go?”
If their kids have someone to take care of them, I think they have the right to go if they want to. (copied answer because I agree)
18. Should abortion be legal?
Not late term, but yes otherwise. (copied answer because I agree)
19. What’s your opinion on the death penalty?
Death is too good for some people, they deserve to suffer. We on the other hand, should have a peaceful death. Depends on who it is and the situation though.
20. So you have trouble leaving your house?
Yes
21. What (if anything) would bring you out of being suicidal?
Nothing
22. Would you leave a note or make a will before you go? Who would you write to?
would probably leave a note, I am poor so its kinda pointless to make a will lol
23. You have the chance to give a past loved one 1 hour of life back, but you have to give up one year of yours. Would you do it?
Whats the point? it’s only 1 hour
24. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose?
internet/phone, only way to contact my online boyfriend for now
25. When was the last time you were nice to someone and did NOT expect anything in return for it?
when i spend alot of credit on my phone and talk to my online boyfriend even if i can’t afford it at all
26. What’s the one thing you regret the most?
Being alive
27. What is more difficult for you, looking into someones eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someones eyes when they are telling you how they feel?
Looking into someones eyes when you are telling someone how you feel
28. If you are at the doctor’s office and he has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live, Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die?
yeah i’ll tell my parents and online bf
29. What do you do with your remaining days? Would you be afraid?
I’d celebrate the fact that I would probably die. I wouldn’t be afraid.
30. What’s the worst pain you have ever felt, physically or mentally?
too much to mention
26. What’s the one thing you regret the most?
Being born* same as author
1. 31
2. As atheist as they come.
3. My biomoms and her boyfriend beating the crap out of each other while I cried my eyes out. I was 3.
4. Moving to Texas to be with my girl in 2011. Things didn’t work out 🙁
5. Wow too many to remember. When I got screwed over in 2008 by a sociopath, my two year nervous breakdown, now, my entire childhood, most of my teen years, my entire adulthood…..too many to name! I can write an encyclopedia of pain to explain it all!
6. My soulmate (we are not living together) and my aunt are in my inner circle.
7. My biomom. After all she put me though, the worst thing she ever did to me was carry me to term. She should have used the vagavac and sucked me right out.
8. PTSD, Severe Anxiety Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, Dependent, Avoidant, and Paranoid Personality Disorder, OCD, Adult ADHD.
9. I binge drink on the weekends, eat, sleep, talk to my soulmate, get on here. I use to play video games and use my creativity more but latley I lost interest, plan my eventual suicide.
10. Yes. I have hypertension, which scares the f out of me, and I’m pretty sure I have hardening of the arteries due to my lifestyle, I’m overweight as well.
11. My ole good friend Joe in May of 2009. We where best friends and talked on the phone all the time. Me and him talked from online and was both planning suicide but he went without telling me. Pill overdose. As much as I mourned his deaths I knew he did the right thing because he had been in so much pain all of his life like I have.
12. My soulmate, she has Dercums disease, or Adiposis Delorosa. The third most painful disease in the world and highly rare. Also lymphedema. She’s not considered terminal but it’s debilitating all the same.
13. Sexually, I’m not sure. I accused my biomom of touching me in great detail when I was 3 but don’t remember any of it. Didn’t even know about the incident till I was 16. I’m thinking it prob was my abusive babysitter. Who knows what really happened. The authorities said there wasn’t enough evidence to open a case. I was physically abused by both parents, step dad, my biomoms boyfriend and kids at school.
14. I remember hating life since I was a small child, wanting to die since 2005, seriously suicidal since 2007. Never changed my mind once. The only reason I made it this long is because I don’t got the right equipment.
15. I never made a serious suicide attempt yet because I wanna get it right the first time. I have however, tested out extension cords on my neck to see if I could cut of my corotid to no avail. And drunk walked to the railroad tracks to see if I could use them someday. Decided against em both. I got a plan though.
16. I believe that assisted suicide should be avalible to any adult who wants it.
17. That’s a tough one. I guess so. It would be hell on the kids but if the parents where that miserable than they probably wasn’t capable of being good parents to begin with.
18. Yes yes and yes! I wish I would have gotten aborted, even late term.
19. I support the death penalty for murderers, rapists, pedophiles, habitual criminals, massive financial crimes, and various other violent crimes. I also believe euthanasia should be an option for prisoners serving hard time so we can clear out the prison population.
20. Yes. I only leave the house to get alcohol and go to doctors/councelers appointment. Last week was a drunken exception.
21. If all my illnesses, both mental and physical, where erased and I could have biological immortality in a place better than heaven where I can drink and eat all I want without consequences, have perfect health, and basically do anything my heart desires! A technological utopia would be great. A place where I could be a god over my own world, not others, but over myself. A hedonistic heaven! The only goal would be to play and chase pleasure! But we all know that ain’t gonna happen.
22. Probably a short one.
23. I wouldn’t do that. It would be kind of fucking with someone who already died, just to have them die again
24. Alcohol. It’s the only thing that gives me pleasure. Also the people I love.
25. A couple months ago I gave this homeless man a couple dollars on my way back from the mini mart. He was in a wheel chair.
26. Being born. Same as you.
27. None. Like you, eye contact and emotional honest always came easy for me.
28. Yes. I’d probably be pretty happy about it. I’d have my aunt buy me that Max Dog ******** cylinder. She’s against me dying now but she would help me if I was terminal she said,
29. Drink, do nothing really. I’d be looking forward for the end but alittle nervous about my plan failing.
30. Worst pain – rejection! physical – probably a Charlie horse. I never had much ex with physical pain
1. What’s your age? I am 18
2. Are you religious at all? No I was raised with religious grandparents and fucking hated it
3. What’s your first memory as a child, the earliest you can remember? My dad trying to hit and when I dodged it he got mad
4. What’s the best memory you have in your whole life up until now? My first cut on my skin that wasn’t a straight line my cutting is art now
5. What’s the worst memory? I repress memories
6. Who is the one person in this entire world you are closest to? No one anymore I burned through my friends years ago
7. Who has hurt you the most in life and what did they do? Mom, dad, 95%of the girls I’ve dated
8. If you were traumatized what problems do you have from it today? Anxiety, depression, ptsd
9. What do you do to get you through the pain each day? Cut, pills, something to numb the pain
10. Do you have any medical issues, mental or physical? Yeah mental huge mental problems
11. How many people do you know that have committed suicide? …too many to name unfortunately the only women that never cheated on me are on that list
12. Do you know anyone with a terminal illness? No they all died
13. Were you physically or sexually abused? Physically yes as I got older it happened less because I’m stronger now
14. When were you first suicidal? 14
15. Have you attempted it yet? If so, what did you do? Yes I’ve used a gun and pills failed horridly
16. Do you believe in assisted suicide? No, yes, idk
17. Should someone with children under 18 be allowed to “go?” no I have many many problems but I’d never leave my child behind not in this world
18. Should abortion be legal? Yes it reduces crime and many other things because unwanted children turn out like us
19. What’s your opinion on the death penalty? Love it if you get caught raping someone that destroys them and you deserve to die for it
20. So you have trouble leaving your house? Sometimes mostly due to my anxiety
21. What (if anything) would bring you out of being suicidal? Death will cure me
22. Would you leave a note or make a will before you go? Who would you write to? I’d write to the one that got away
23. You have the chance to give a past loved one 1 hour of life back, but you have to give up one year of yours. Would you do it? Yes I’d love to see my dog again
24. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose? My dogs and because when I was going to kill myself one day they wouldn’t leave me the fuck alone they were pawing at my door and followed me everywhere
25. When was the last time you were nice to someone and did NOT expect anything in return for it? I’m never nice to people not anymore I’ve been fucked over I’ll sooner be an asshole than get fucked over again
26. What’s the one thing you regret the most? Being born.
27. What is more difficult for you, looking into someones eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someones eyes when they are telling you how they feel? Neither I don’t give a shit about anything
28. If you are at the doctor’s office and he has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live, Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? Hell yeah pitty sex I’d hit up every club and bed every Latino girl I could find
29. What do you do with your remaining days? Would you be afraid? Nope id be bedding every Latino girl I could unless I fell in love
30. What’s the worst pain you have ever felt, physically or mentally? Physically walking up from a failed pills suicide woke up addicted to pills throwing up and all that shit
1. What’s your age? 20
2. Are you religious at all? Nah What’s your stance? Agnostic…maybe?
3. What’s your first memory as a child, the earliest you can remember? I don’t remember much to be honest. I do remember catching a firefly once, opening my hand and screaming because it was dead. Don’t know how old I was…
4. What’s the best memory you have in your whole life up until now? Going to Disney world when I was 14.
5. What’s the worst memory? Yeah my whole childhood was filled with bad memories.
6. Who is the one person in this entire world you are closest to? I wish I could say my dog, but because you said “person” I guess I’ll say my mom.
7. Who has hurt you the most in life and what did they do? My dad. Certified piece of crap, left me when I was young and treated me, my mother and my siblings like shit.
8. If you were traumatized what problems do you have from it today? Anxiety, social anxiety, agoraphobia, panic disorder, an eating disorder, depression, suicidal thoughts..
9. What do you do to get you through the pain each day? Nothing. I just deal because I have no other choice right now.
10. Do you have any medical issues, mental or physical? Mental I mentioned above. Physical: IBS(constipation), Acne, terrible fatigue, terrible eyesight(myopia)
11. How many people do you know that have committed suicide? And how did they do it? Don’t know any…
12. Do you know anyone with a terminal illness? No.
13. Were you physically or sexually abused? No and that’s one reason people think I don’t have it that bad..
14. When were you first suicidal? Eleven years old.
15. Have you attempted it yet? If so, what did you do? Pills, hanging, more pills.
16. Do you believe in assisted suicide? Not sure. Depends on the situation.
17. Should someone with children under 18 be allowed to “go?” I have no idea. Depends on the situation but I’m in no position to judge.
18. Should abortion be legal? Yeah.
19. What’s your opinion on the death penalty? Depends on the situation, but I think life is better because they have to suffer with no freedom. Kind of wish they have public executions though. Don’t judge me, I know I’m messed up….
20. So you have trouble leaving your house? Yes. Agoraphobia.
21. What (if anything) would bring you out of being suicidal? A puppy that can talk and psychic powers.
22. Would you leave a note or make a will before you go? Who would you write to? I’d write to my family. Don’t have much to leave them…
23. You have the chance to give a past loved one 1 hour of life back, but you have to give up one year of yours. Would you do it? No.
24. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose? My dog. He’s my baby.
25. When was the last time you were nice to someone and did NOT expect anything in return for it? Yeah, I’m always nice. Never expect anything because I’ve learned people don’t give back anyway.
26. What’s the one thing you regret the most? Not killing myself when I was younger.
27. What is more difficult for you, looking into someones eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someones eyes when they are telling you how they feel? Both. Eyes freak me out.
28. If you are at the doctor’s office and he has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live, Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? I’d tell everyone.
29. What do you do with your remaining days? Would you be afraid? Eat without guilt and drink without guilt. No fears.
30. What’s the worst pain you have ever felt, physically or mentally? Hard to explain mentally. I once took two boxes of laxatives once after I felt I ate too much, ugh. Also took one hundred something pills to kill myself. Was vomiting for quite some time.
Thanks for the questions
1. What’s your age? I’m 17.
2. Are you religious at all? I have been an atheist since 10, i guess.
3. What’s your first memory as a child, the earliest you can remember? Hmm… my earliest memory… i remember a bit my grandpa, he died when i was 2 years old.
4. What’s the best memory you have in your whole life up until now? My best memory is when i got a certificate from the mayor of the town.
5. What’s the worst memory? I have lots of bad memories, it’s hard to choose one… but i think the worst of all is when i made someone cry, i said to him something very cruel.
6. Who is the one person in this entire world you are closest to? My sister.
7. Who has hurt you the most in life and what did they do? my father telling me that i am a loser almost every day.
8. If you were traumatized what problems do you have from it today? Social anxiety and bipolar disorder.
9. What do you do to get you through the pain each day? I don’t feel pain anymore.
10. Do you have any medical issues, mental or physical? Both of them.
11. How many people do you know that have committed suicide? 0
12. Do you know anyone with a terminal illness? No.
13. Were you physically or sexually abused? No.
14. When were you first suicidal? 12 years old i guess.
15. Have you attempted it yet? I tried once. It was the first and last time.
16. Do you believe in assisted suicide? No.
17. Should someone with children under 18 be allowed to “go?” NO.
18. NEVER.
19. What’s your opinion on the death penalty? Is cruel but necessary.
20. So you have trouble leaving your house? Yes, but i’m dealing with these problem, and i have made some progress.
21. What (if anything) would bring you out of being suicidal? I’m not suicidal anymore. My dreams got me out of my condition.
22. Would you leave a note or make a will before you go? I wrote a note these june but then i changed my mind and i burn it.
23. You have the chance to give a past loved one 1 hour of life back, but you have to give up one year of yours. Would you do it? Yes.
24. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose? My life.
25. When was the last time you were nice to someone and did NOT expect anything in return for it? I’m always like that, i guess.
26. What’s the one thing you regret the most? I regret the time i wasted being mean and grumpy.
27. What is more difficult for you, looking into someones eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someones eyes when they are telling you how they feel?i don’t like that much making eye contact.
28. If you are at the doctor’s office and he has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live, Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? Idk… no i guess.
29. What do you do with your remaining days? Would you be afraid? Idk.
30. What’s the worst pain you have ever felt, physically or mentally? Some crazy, intense dizziness.
I really enjoyed these questionnaire. Thank you! 😀
1. What’s your age? 18
2. Are you religious at all? Yes, I think atheism is too cultural to be true. There must be things we don’t know about life, It’s not all going to fit into Western science/logic.
3. What’s your first memory as a child, the earliest you can remember? Fireworks
4. What’s the best memory you have in your whole life up until now? Last day of school everyone, absolutely everyone settled their differences and we all had good fun the last day a lot of us would see each other.
5. What’s the worst memory? Going to juvy, the whole experience sucked, I was abused in every way.
6. Who is the one person in this entire world you are closest to? Nobody, now that I think, It’s probably a big suicide reason
7. Who has hurt you the most in life and what did they do? My parents, they made and broke me in many ways but ultimately I don’t feel bad towards them
8. If you were traumatized what problems do you have from it today? Ex: PTSD, anxiety, social issues, etc? I don’t know, probably all of the above… It’s another reason I think suicide is natural.
9. What do you do to get you through the pain each day? I feel no pain now, I’m in limbo… No responsibility, just waiting to die soon.
10. Do you have any medical issues, mental or physical? DEFINITELY, mostly physical.
11. How many people do you know that have committed suicide? And how did they do it? Nobody, maybe 1 guy online who’s told me how he’ll die but he’s doing it next year.
12. Do you know anyone with a terminal illness? No
13. Were you physically or sexually abused? (Answer only if you’re comfortable.) Nothing traumatic.
14. When were you first suicidal? When I realized many logical reasons for it put together.
15. Have you attempted it yet? If so, what did you do? I tried cutting my throat with a kitchen knife and I stopped.
16. Do you believe in assisted suicide? It’s real, yes.
17. Should someone with children under 18 be allowed to “go?” Yes
18. Should abortion be legal? I’d like to be against murdering your baby, but I’m undecided and don’t care
19. What’s your opinion on the death penalty? It’s very wrong, we should stop complaining that we ‘pay’ for them to live, they’re just as human as you and many criminals are mentally inclined to commit crimes. Can you blame a lion for killing you? Most call it “nature” when animals commit crime but forget we’re just as impulsive and capable of savagery.
20. So you have trouble leaving your house? No but I don’t go outside much, I’m online all day.
21. What (if anything) would bring you out of being suicidal? A choice, I’m suicidal for a weird reason, mostly boredom and feeling i’m ‘ready’ but I also have unique problems that make life impossible
22. Would you leave a note or make a will before you go? Who would you write to? I don’t plan to anymore, not good with words
23. You have the chance to give a past loved one 1 hour of life back, but you have to give up one year of yours. Would you do it? Yes
24. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Me, my mind and body.
25. When was the last time you were nice to someone and did NOT expect anything in return for it? I don’t keep track but I do stuff selfishly and think It’s hard to be saintly. Still try.
26. What’s the one thing you regret the most? Mouth breathing, though most things aren’t my fault because I never chose to take tons of medication, junkfood, etc… I was given these things
27. What is more difficult for you, looking into someones eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someones eyes when they are telling you how they feel? I find it hard staring at people in general, makes me feel a strong urge to look away.
28. If you are at the doctor’s office and he has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live, Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? No, I’d keep it to myself
29. What do you do with your remaining days? Would you be afraid? I’d be so happy, living life.
30. What’s the worst pain you have ever felt, physically or mentally?
Mental: I’m a sensitive, feeling type of person who’s not good with words so I can’t say
Physical: This headache on an airplane once that left me deaf for a few days.
That’s long but I’m going to answer the questions now. Reading yours is so interesting.
1. What’s your age?
23 in a few weeks.
2. Are you religious at all?
No and I think that organized religion often creates more evil than good.
3. What’s your first memory as a child, the earliest you can remember?
Agh, I can’t remember now. I remember being with my classmates when I was six (I’ll probably remember something else after I press post).
4. What’s the best memory you have in your whole life up until now?
… Honestly, this is so hard to answer. I have no idea. Probably the birth of my nephew.
5. What’s the worst memory?
Everything related to my stepfather.
6. Who is the one person in this entire world you are closest to?
It has to be Tami, my friend for 15 years.
7. Who has hurt you the most in life and what did they do?
The people that were supposed to be my parents. My mom sold our souls to the cult she attends and my stepfather (too long to explain everything now).
8. If you were traumatized what problems do you have from it today? Ex: PTSD, anxiety, social issues, etc?
All of these mentioned.
9. What do you do to get you through the pain each day?
Basically read (yes, “real” books) and surf the internet, of course.
(I love you, Internet <3)
10. Do you have any medical issues, mental or physical?
Both. My physical issue apparently is a mix of both btw.
11. How many people do you know that have committed suicide? And how did they do it?
Officially, one. Hanging.
12. Do you know anyone with a terminal illness?
My grandfather.
13. Were you physically or sexually abused?
Both.
14. When were you first suicidal?
Depends. I remember wanting to die since I was 10 or 11, but the thing only got "real" at 13-14.
15. Have you attempted it yet? If so, what did you do?
Many times, but probably only two "serious" attempts.
16. Do you believe in assisted suicide?
I'd need an eternity to write about my POV on that.
17. Should someone with children under 18 be allowed to “go?”
Read answer above.
18. Should abortion be legal?
I'm still building my opinion on abortion, but I wouldn't try to stop you. It's your body. However, long-term abortions… No, that's murder.
19. What’s your opinion on the death penalty?
You can't kill child molesters. You should prolong their lives and torture them until their death.
20. So you have trouble leaving your house?
I don't exactly like leaving my house, but um no.
21. What (if anything) would bring you out of being suicidal?
Relief from my physical pain, moving to a VERY distant location where I wouldn't see things that remind me of my past. Or just erase my past, please.
22. Would you leave a note or make a will before you go?
Never did.
23. You have the chance to give a past loved one 1 hour of life back, but you have to give up one year of yours. Would you do it?
Probably yes, if we were talking about my grandpa.
24. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up?
My nephew. He's my world and I hate the thought of knowing that he'd miss me and wonder why I took my life and feel sad about it. But the pain of missing someone you love always lessens…
25. When was the last time you were nice to someone and did NOT expect anything in return for it?
I’m always nice to people, including selfish idiots.
26. What’s the one thing you regret the most?
Running away. That only gave me more problems after I was brought home again.
27. What is more difficult for you, looking into someones eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someones eyes when they are telling you how they feel?
I usually avoid visual contact unless we're really, really close.
28. If you are at the doctor’s office and he has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live, Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die?
Believe it or not, no. No, wait. I'd tell SP, but no one in my "real life".
29. What do you do with your remaining days? Would you be afraid?
Not afraid. Haha, probably keep doing the same thing I've been doing lately because I don't have money enough to do what I would like to do yet.
30. What’s the worst pain you have ever felt, physically or mentally?
Physical, my pelvic pain. It never stops so it's obviously hurting while now while I type this.
Mentally… I'm not feeling that great today to explain and detail my whole life again growing up in a Christian cult with a monstrous stepfather and a neglecting yet control freak mother, so I think we should end here.
Great survey! Took it myself, but I’m not posting my answers because they’re too personal. Still, just wanted to say I really liked it. Awesome post, Calamity :).
Thanks so much. :). You guys are a great group of people. So much compassion for each other. I wish we could create our own little world based on this group.
Since i’m bored and can’t do anything today here we go (fun how you remember things that you forgot when you write them back):
1. What’s your age? 33
2. Are you religious at all? I believe that there might be “something” superior, not sure of what tho, not to keen on religion.
3. What’s your first memory as a child, the earliest you can remember? Sitting at 2 years old with my parents eating saltless boiled rice (i was sick) and drinking tea (from a regular glass cup, no idea if that’s normal but i remember they saw it as abnormal).
4. What’s the best memory you have in your whole life up until now? Should make this two: singing in front of 800+ people (and not getting booed, lol), (foolishly) deciding to trust in someone after several past failures (turned into a failure too, but the moment remains).
5. What’s the worst memory? Can’t pick one. It’d be easier to say i had a couple of good years along the way (mid 20s).
6. Who is the one person in this entire world you are closest to? My grandmother, even if it’s in a distant way. We just understand each other (even if we don’t agree in some things).
7. Who has hurt you the most in life and what did they do? My mom, by messing up my life more than once due to being obsessed over a guy who has played with her for 26 years (even to this day she continues lying about it). My ex, by doing everything possible to gain my trust then doing things that were worse than anything everyone had did to me (and she knew about it). My sisters, by being selfish and influencing issues with my ex and mom.
8. If you were traumatized what problems do you have from it today? Ex: PTSD, anxiety, social issues, etc? All those plus chronic insomnia and at times detachment from reality issues.
9. What do you do to get you through the pain each day? Whatever distracts me, music, games, movies, drawing, etc. Playing guitar and singing from time to time but my health breaks down pretty badly when i do those. Also studying again has helped to redirect some of the anxiety.
10. Do you have any medical issues, mental or physical? Both.
11. How many people do you know that have committed suicide? And how did they do it? I’ve met several, but i can remember an uncle who killed himself in the train tracks and had a distant friend that died by hanging.
12. Do you know anyone with a terminal illness? Yup.
13. Were you physically or sexually abused? (Answer only if you’re comfortable.) Yup, realized it years later.
14. When were you first suicidal? I remember mentioning it when i was 7-8, claiming “i don’t know why people want to live for so long, life is boring and there’s no point”. My parents should have noticed something was wrong then, lol.
15. Have you attempted it yet? If so, what did you do? Several times. Main ones OD, hanging, poisoning, asphyxia.
16. Do you believe in assisted suicide? Only in terminal cases. For not terminal cases i believe in the right of taking your own life (without assistance) tho.
17. Should someone with children under 18 be allowed to “go?” Depends, if the children have someone else to look after them i guess it’s ok, but i’m more against it than in favor.
18. Should abortion be legal? Yup. Nothing worse than giving a bad life to someone just because they weren’t wanted. Same when physical conditions are detected earlier. Both my case.
19. What’s your opinion on the death penalty? I accept it depending on the case.
20. So you have trouble leaving your house? Depends on how i wake up (sometimes muscle pain is too much). It’s always a problem communicating with people tho (talking issues), so i’d have to say yes.
21. What (if anything) would bring you out of being suicidal? I’d have to regain faith in people (which is almost impossible) and my physical condition should improve a bit (which at this point is not likely).
22. Would you leave a note or make a will before you go? Who would you write to? Yup. Done it before, but know i’d just write to authorities (so nobody is blamed), grandmother, and mother (this one would be mostly lies tho).
23. You have the chance to give a past loved one 1 hour of life back, but you have to give up one year of yours. Would you do it? I’d give all my remaining years. Maybe somebody else could use that time in a better way that i’m doing.
24. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose? Already lost most of things that mattered to me. My health has been taking away the rest on a daily basis.
25. When was the last time you were nice to someone and did NOT expect anything in return for it? A couple of days ago. I don’t expect much from people (if anything at all) anymore.
26. What’s the one thing you regret the most? Not seeing red flags (regarding health and relationships).
27. What is more difficult for you, looking into someones eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someones eyes when they are telling you how they feel? Looking into someones eyes. For some reason i have this fear that they will think i’m lying even if i’m telling the truth, i guess it has to do with the fact that i believe i might be wrong in the interpretation of some things that have happened. Yup, i’m that paranoid at times.
28. If you are at the doctor’s office and he has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live, Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? I just have two people that would care, most likely i’d tell them and then just dismiss it until that time arrived.
29. What do you do with your remaining days? Would you be afraid? I’d finish breaking down my body (by doing things i enjoy). Not sure if i’d be afraid but i’m pretty sure it would be a mix of relief and anger/feeling like a loser.
30. What’s the worst pain you have ever felt, physically or mentally? Physically i guess it would either be puking constantly for 4 hours (including blood) when i had my stomach pumped, or the constant pain i have in most of my right upper body section (head, throat, eyes, airways, neck, shoulder, arm). Mentally: being betrayed over and over.
1. What’s your age? I am 18
2. Are you religious at all? Spiritual not religious
3. What’s your first memory as a child, the earliest you can remember? Going to the beach and walking through the sea terrified that I’d be stepping on a dolphin. 2/3 years old.
4. What’s the best memory you have in your whole life up until now? When a stranger help up a train that only came once a day for me at the train station.
5. What’s the worst memory? When my mother disowned me.
6. Who is the one person in this entire world you are closest to? My online family.
7. Who has hurt you the most in life and what did they do? Mom mental restricted me. Her husband physically and sexually abused me. My family socially restricted me. My ex’s have mentally traumatized me- I don’t think I can be in a relationship with a guy again.
8. If you were traumatized what problems do you have from it today? Ex: PTSD, anxiety, social issues, etc? Never been diagnosed but all of these I imagine.
9. What do you do to get you through the pain each day? Cry. Take long showers. Read books. Online chat rooms. Work for Uni.
10. Do you have any medical issues, mental or physical? None diagnosed.
11. How many people do you know that have committed suicide? And how did they do it? Many people- it’s triggering to count. A mixture of hanging, helium and i don’t knows because i didn’t want to find out.
12. Do you know anyone with a terminal illness? Yes
13. Were you physically or sexually abused? (Answer only if you’re comfortable.) Yes.
14. When were you first suicidal? First attempted when I was 6
15. Have you attempted it yet? If so, what did you do? Mainly over doses, poisons and partial hangings.
16. Do you believe in assisted suicide? Yes
17. Should someone with children under 18 be allowed to “go?” They know their situation better than me. I shouldn’t judge. But I don’t have much regard for human life. We’re already killing the planet and our children through global warming and other shit so yes
18. Should abortion be legal? Yes
19. What’s your opinion on the death penalty? Agree with it- I don’t value human life.
20. So you have trouble leaving your house? Social anxiety. And vertigo.
21. What (if anything) would bring you out of being suicidal? Nothing- I’ve been programmed to be suicidal.
22. Would you leave a note or make a will before you go? Who would you write to? A note will be written on my forehead- “I’m tired of trying and failing”. As for my will to my online family who I know need money.
23. You have the chance to give a past loved one 1 hour of life back, but you have to give up one year of yours. Would you do it? No. I think most people I have loved and are dead, probably prefer death. But if anyone i knew wanted that extra hour- sure.
24. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose? Self respect. It’s the only thing I have, even if it’s only an outer appearance.
25. When was the last time you were nice to someone and did NOT expect anything in return for it? I don’t know. Tend to avoid people.
26. What’s the one thing you regret the most? Not killing myself when I get the chance..
27. What is more difficult for you, looking into someones eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someones eyes when they are telling you how they feel? If i’m comfortable around them neither. If i’m not comfortable them both are difficult
28. If you are at the doctor’s office and he has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live, Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? Nope. I enjoy surprising people.
29. What do you do with your remaining days? Would you be afraid? Read books and chill. Bake a cake. Maybe some brownies. Celebrate.
30. What’s the worst pain you have ever felt, physically or mentally? Mentally- my pain when i’m in really bad depression. I feel like I’m being stabbed over and over again all over my body. My anxiety plays up and I get insects crawling all over my body and then I get electric shocks which leave me gasping for breath. My heart and mind are both frozen and I can’t move or think even if I want to. Everything hurts. I feel like my body’s frozen and at the same time it’s on fire. It lasts for hours without warning and I can’t control it. And it takes days to recover from before my next breakdown again.