I’ve been a suicideproject reader for a year now. Been depressed for 8 years, but it’s getting on and off.
Why is it so hard to leave this world? Why is it not legal to end our own life?
I keep thinking about the homeless people, people who went crazy and just roam around in the streets. I put myself into their shoes and it made me more depressed. I thought that maybe someday I will become like them. NO!! I can’t take it anymore. I want to take my own life as soon as possible. I always cry every night. Even though I am still hanging unto my bits of hope and thinking that it will get better, my life gets worse every year.
My family is a huge mess. My father married a gold digger mistress (which now my step mom – she hates me because I will be one of my father’s children to inherit the business); my biological mother is a mistress to a man with a family, the wife of the man is hunting my mother now. I love both of my younger sisters but with the pressure of taking care of everything on my own and people around me hating me for being me, people being insecure for what I have, for my talents, I cannot take it anymore. My world is falling apart.
Someone, somebody please help me escape this hell.
I don’t care who will I leave in this world, I know that the gold digger step mom will be more happy.
Your help will be most appreciated. Please help me, do it for me, for I am tired of feeling pain and madness of this world.
11 comments
I’m sorry to hear about your pain. I understand how you feel. I was depressed once (or many times) too. However, what about the people who are counting on you? Do you not care about them? Please take time to think about how your suicide will affect other people once you’re gone. Maybe you’ll change your mind. Or give it another day, or another week, or another month, or another year. There’s a chance your situation will change. After all, it only takes “you” to be happy. You are in charge of your feelings and you can choose to be happy. You can’t change how people treat you, but you can always change how you react to them. You don’t gain a single thing from misery, so you might as well be happy. It really just boils down to having a positive mindset. However, if you are definitely convinced that you want to commit suicide, please do not forget to settle everything first before you leave (e.g. make a will about your properties, etc.). I personally do not want you to commit suicide, but who am I to interfere with your freedom? But just think: What if, by letting depression consume you, you miss your chances to become happy or to grow? We can’t change some situations, but we can change our way of thinking.
Thank you for your response and for the encouragement.
I’ve been thinking on taking my life for 3 years now. I always convince myself that things will get better. But no matter what I do I always end up in a worse situation. My sisters told me they will be fine without me, so it’s a relief. I will settle things before I leave, once I get my hands on nem.butal or any drugs that can kill me while I’m sleeping.
I wish you the best. Whatever decision you come up with, I hope it gives you exactly what you’re looking for. You have my prayers.
It’s cruel how hard it is to end our lives. And how hard it can be to make them bearable. If I knew you I’d do anything to help you escape… the worst situation to be in is one that has no end in sight. While I don’t think you should have to suffer for other people’s sake, don’t think many people will be happy or not care if you die. I will, so I’m sure many others will. I wish you all the luck in the world, whatever you do next.
Thank you for your kind words. I’m happy to know that a person like you cares.
It’s barbaric to take peaceful methods away from people and force us to stay tethered to this big blue ball of bullshit that some call “Earh”. I wish you didn’t have to go though so much pain and suffering with your situation. My life sucks too.
I totally agree. I hate to see people who are suffering and cannot do anything but to live in their miserable lives. Why aren’t we able to choose to die if we didn’t choose to be born to begin with? It’s hopeless..
so… the golddigger is abusing your brain, and you are okay with that? the other people that are abusing you must also be one of her “connection’s”, eh? how old are you? i really feel bad if you are anything below 23. because as much as i can see it mind abusing underage people with out any retaliation is very easy. remember that she is always your enemy. sometimes she may act good to “fuss your mind “, so Remembering her eneminess should be a constant job. this shall continue until you stand by yourself both financially and economically! “the worst enemy is the unknown enemy. he can be identified by his sneakinness”. i hope you don’t let her win. because ones she is done with you, she will move to another target. you don’t let that too happen now, would you? !
Oh my, how did you know? You are right about what you said. ALL YOU SAID WAS TRUE! About her abusing my mind, about her having connections with people who are also hating me, about her being acting nice. I am 23 years old just this August 6. Before my birthday I thought of ending this life, but I requested to have a party to have a chance to feel happiness. But no, my father shouted at me and told me “No parties anymore! That will be the last one!”
I think she is planning to get me out of the family and avoid being one of the heir of the business. And I hate my father for being brainwashed by her. My life is very complicated I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t have anyone to count on. I know that I am going to lose cause in the end the evil wins.
You may have been depressed for some time but had this nasty step mum not entered your life would you now be contemplating suicide, has his person pushed you over the edge. I, like you, believe we all have a right to end our lives, it just seems sad that someone would end their life over the actions of one other person. If it is mainly her that makes you concider suicide will time allow you to leave her sphere of influence, would it help not to be around her. I hope you think carefully, at 23 you have time for things to change around even if you feel it’s unbearable now; also you have sisters who you love, that is something to hold on to.
Sorry that you’ve been through so much, but by taking your life away you’re just going to make things easier for your stepmother (and i’m guessing that’s what she wants, but not by having you kill yourself).
I know how it is to have sketchy parents (mine are a joke) and bad stepparents (been there too), but at the age you’re at you could always turn things around. If you still live with one of you parents you could always try to leave and be on your own (that way you’ll see them less) or just try to have your own life without involving too much in their business. Not saying that it’s easy, but there’s still many things that (you) could change over time.