It seems like everyone has a good reason to commit suicide. Cyberbullying, bullying, leaked photos, bad home life, no friends, and the list goes on and on. I have none of those. I’m just a normal teenager, with a nack for getting into trouble, a soft spot for people in need, and a family that I could never just abandon. Yet I desperately want to. But I cant. Do you know how much a little oblong shaped solution to my problem costs? Way more than a 15 year old who babysits can afford.
Anyway, I’m getting off topic. My reason is simple. I wasn’t made for the life I live. I wasn’t made to walk around the desperately gray halls of high school, or try to get a date to prom. I wasn’t made to sit in an engineering class for an hour and a half, when I know I won’t be around long enough to pursue a career. This is all just wasted time and effort. I feel bad for the people who plan to live. The people who dream, and hope, and find comfort in others. They weren’t strong enough to take their death into their own hands. But I am.
3 comments
I’m sorry to hear you feel this way at 15 especially when by the sounds of it your heart is in the right place, wanting to help those in need (and who doesnt get in trouble anyways?! I find the most fun isually involves something negative somewhere along the line). The world needs more people who are strong for those who are weak and empathetic to quiet little voices that simply cant speak up for one reason or another thats out of their control. I can relate to the determination too though…
Stay strong, you have plenty of time to work something out (nothing is worth rushing!)
I’ll let you in on a secret that society doesn’t want you to know. The everyday lives we lead (school system, careers, etc) are completely unnatural. We’re meant to be wild and free, not living through these rigidly formulaic lives. So, you’re right, you aren’t made for this world, but none of us are. Ever seen the Matrix? It’s exactly like that. You’ve woken up to the bullshit all around you and can see how mechanical life has become. We’re supposed to be laying in the grass, swimming in the oceans, traversing the deserts, not “living” in these concrete jungles.
Don’t get me wrong, I love the safety and cleanliness and order that goes with living in society, but it doesn’t make it right. Life isn’t supposed to be so safe. We’re supposed to be taking chances, getting dirty, making mistakes, but every year the people in charge sterilize existence just a little bit more and take us away from nature, and each other. Cosmopolitan magazine posted a video to youtube recently that tried to shame men who hit on women.
What they labeled as catcalling was nothing more than men trying to get to know beautiful female strangers. Apparently, trying to start a conversation with someone is now harassment. The human race wouldn’t have lasted as long as it has if people throughout history were as uptight as the people of today. There’s nothing wrong with you bro, society has just forgotten what it is to be a human being. You’re not meant for the rat race, none of us are.
Lucky for you, you’re still young and can avoid the trap of 9-5 wage slave if you’re smart and use the time you have now to start attracting wealth to you (internet startup, cell phone app, stock market etc). Don’t feel bad because you don’t have an appetite for bullshit. Leave prom and working till old age and all that other BS to those still trapped in the matrix. That’s not for you anymore. You’re out. You’re free. You don’t have to conform to the nonsense anymore.
My advice is to focus on something that will bring you wealth. The guy who created facebook, Zuckerberg, was like us before all the money and fame. He stopped eating the same BS that other people eat and created his own diet. The path of school/college/student debt/career/marriage/mortgage/children is not for you. You’re off the conveyor so you have to decide your life now, every step of the way.
Don’t give up bro. Life is pretty meaningless, but it can be super fun if you’ve got the resources.
Playing the violin is probably healthier than collecting cats.