Last month I and my friend had a fight and at some point he asked me why I do this, if it was to seek attention. And since I am thinking: Am I really depressed?
This is getting really confusing and I just don’t know what is real anymore. I barely sleep, I barely eat, food doesn’t taste good anymore, I can’t concentrate, I can’t have fun while I play my favourite games, I used to love reading and writing and drawing but know I don’t. Everything bores me and everything is so exhausting. Sometimes I have suicidal thoughts and sometimes I cut myself. And after I cut or try to kill me and just get like a zombie. I have no feelings for a couple of days. No sadness or happiness, nothing. And then everything goes down again.
Sometimes I can even feel happy with myself, with energy and motivation. I can laugh when I am alone and I want to make stuff and I feel better, but sometime after that I just hit the bottom really hard again. I have searched the bipolar symptoms, but I don’t think I have it. I have some of the symptoms but it is like the subtle version of those, nothing dramatic, no super high periods. Just happiness and the “I want to kill myself”.
Is this normal?
4 comments
How old are you? It doesn’t sound like a typical list of teenager’s ups and downs. You should search for something that is called borderline personality disorder. It reminds me of your situation… and mine too. And if you ask whether or not it is normal to feel like that – no, it isn’t. “Normals” feel suicidal at times too, but they are mostly stable.
If you are 14-25, I would recommend checking your hormones. There are thyroid disorders that may cause the symptoms described above.
I can be happy but I am sad 85% of time. I have difficulties while reading and I was once a prominent writer – everyone was saying that I would have a great carrier and stuff but suddenly in 2012 I stopped experiencing pleasure and since then my condition is deteriorating. I am going to check my hormones, I’ve already done an mri scan.
Thanks for the reply. I am 16 almost 17. This year I checked mine hormones because I had some problems when practicing sport and everything is normal. I truly hope you get better.
There are mri scans and computer tomography scans. And checking vitamins. I would do these tests before trying medicines. Though, some medicines may help – it is always better to eat more carrot instead of taking a bunch of pills.
I’m 19, by the way =)
Thanks for the help =) Nice to meet you.