i was ok yesterday, then i woke up this morning. i wish i could go back and stay there. i dont care if i was in a bad place then i still felt good i didnt want to do anything bad. i really should not have been born. i was a mistake. i literally cant do anything without someone hating me for it, especially now. almost every person i come into contact with hates me. everyone talks about me behind my back but they never say anything to my face. i get fucked over all the time just because. for the past year ive had to listen to people say ” i hope she kills herself”. well i hope so to at least we can agree on something. but before i go i at least want to tell someone. i think will listen that its not true the things that they are saying about me now. the only thing ive done wrong is run my damn mouth. so i guess there right about that to, its my fault im in this situation. still at the same time ive always know that people hated me even before they talk to me they just hate me because im alive, i cant really deny that especial now. i really should just give up, i cant keep living just for one good day out of a million bad days. i know there are still people who love me, but its not worth it anymore. now the only thing that’s holding me back is fear but i can make that go away. everyone will be happier when i die, and it makes me sad because i wasted all this time trying to be nice, and all god did was laugh and spit in my face. now people just think that im evil. if it was anyone else they would be able to move on with there lives with no worries. but even god hates me i know he dose ive asked him for help so many times and at first i thought he just wasn’t listening, but now i know the entire time he was just up there laughing. laughing with everyone else. its all just a game to him.
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
2 comments
No hate here. You are going through something many of us have gone through, too.
People hate because they are assholes, or their lives are consumed with fear, or they are jealous, or they have been trained to be that way. Part of growing up is learning to put yourself in their disgusting shoes and see the world through their nearly blind eyes. Do that and you’ll say “ewwwww” and “that shit is fucked up,” but the insights are priceless.
I really really really (x1000) hated god and thought god hated me. When I got older I realized he was actually doing a shitty job of tormenting me. There are only half a million people in Hollywood who could come up with better ways to fuck me over. So logic would dictate that he’s either not the one doing it or he hired third graders to do it. If it’s the latter, then I’m going to piss on his shoes after I die.
A million shitty days for one good one is a pretty crappy thing. On the other hand you’d be about 2,740 years old. Oprah would no doubt want you to come on her show. Hold out for a new car.
In Lawrence of Arabia, Lawrence extinguished matches with his fingers. His comrades asked him what the trick was. He replied, “the trick is not minding that it hurts.”
Surviving the day to day bullshit of life is like that.
i really like that line the trick is not minding that it hurts