Found it so difficult today. Have barely had the energy to move.
Slept most of the day managed to just about get myself showered and washed my hair. (After doing neither for 2 weeks…disgusting I know).
Feel like I could sleep for forever. Wouldnt that be nice? To not have to agonize over methods of suicide but to just fall to sleep and never wake up
I can’t silence the screams to jump, to crash my car, to cut so deep. The comfort I find in driving over a bridge, seeing a tall building or any other method of death is exhausting me.
I’m sorry for people reading this. I just needed to write it somewhere.
5 comments
Don’t be sorry, getting out thoughts is very helpful. Feel free to vent whenever you need to.
It would be nice to just sleep forever. My mind also goes on and on and only with sleep can I silence it for a bit.
Oh, and I also neglect my hygiene when my depression is at its worst. I think many of us have been there (sorry if this is TMI.)
No need to apologize. Many understand what you’re going through.
In one of your posts, you talked about arriving at work. Does your job have some type of Employee Assistance Program? Maybe it’s a number you can call to speak with someone? Perhaps, at a minimum, it will help get some things off your mind.
Was there anything in particular that made today difficult? There are days where I don’t feel like doing much, if anything.
Hygiene is an unnecessary pleasure when I’m really deep.
@Romanticide, I’m sorry today was particularly bad.
It would be nice.
Can’t get my head on straight to answer the things you said properly right now. Just wanted to say I know how you feel. I’m still hoping your problems will be fixed.
My manager is pretty helpful I guess. I don’t know. I feel like I’ve talked it out, I don’t know what else can help now. I’ve already had a couple of months off, it’s not really suitable for me to have any more time off sick because I’d never be home on my own.
So I can’t ever really get quiet time.
I just feel so deeply sad. But so empty.
There isn’t really anything ever specific I’ve just felt like this for such a long time.
Hiohneh – not TMI at all. I think it’s pretty common.
It’s a shame really that people don’t understand mental health. I feel even those in the “profession” tend to make sweeping presumption (last week I was told I was doing well because I had a job and wasn’t curled up doing nothing – which is what I spend the rest of my time doing when I’m not at work! It doesn’t make me less suicidal just because I drag myself out of bed to a place I sit in silence for for 8 hours. I only do that because it causes less stress than staying at home).
Anyway. Rant over. Sorry again.