Hello lovelies. Sorry about not posting lately… things have been a tad bit crazy. Got rushed to the ER last night, and seven hours later, the doctors still don’t know what’s wring with me heh. But I guess my internal bleeding wasn’t extraordinarily alarming, because I was able to go home. I’m hoping it isn’t anything too horrible… and now I’m sitting in my room, not only bleeding internally, but externally. Somehow, this damn razor jumped in my hand and my thigh got in the way…It seems once a cutter, always a cutter. I thought I was getting better; better in the physical sense. The exhaustion of today hit me, and of course walking is now a ginormous pain in the butt.
However, it is not all just about me! How are you all doing, lovelies? 🙂 It has been far too long since I’ve heard from you.
9 comments
No, not once a cutter, always a cutter. it’s not something you always did, it won’t be something you will always do. Promise. You’ll learn better coping skills, and you won’t need it. Internal bleeding sounds… very messy and meh… Sorry about that.
I held a human baby and we both survived the encounter, I consider that a win. i’m glad you posted again though.
Thank you for the advice 🙂 And congrats on the whole *holding infant* encounter! Babies are a tad out of my comfort zone, but if they aren’t mine I love them lol 🙂
Maintaining.
Sorry to hear about your ER visit. And, hey, sorry that you accidentally cut yourself. Please know that even if you cut yourself you are much more than just a cutter. You are wonderful because you are human. You try fail try succeed go forwards go backward are up are down – just like the rest of us. I need you to stick around and force feed those words back to me sometime, OK?
I will be here everyday to force feed those words to you if you need me to. I am both happy and sad to hear you are maintaining… it is good you are hanging on, but it is bad you are not doing more than just “hanging.” I will try to not accidentally cut myself anymore 🙂
We are not the sum of the cuts we make. We are not the total of mistakes either. One day at a time, sometimes for me one hour at a time. This project site is a wonderful place. Thank you for sharing.
You sound very wise, Sunflower. And I love your name; it makes me think of lovely days outdoors in the sun, in the air, and in a moment in time where I can forget and remember… remember what it is like to live again. Thank you 🙂
See below…
Sorry TaDB, I saw this late. Just wanted to say I’m sorry you cut again and felt disappointed about it, but it doesn’t mean you’ll always be stuck with it. I know the pain means it’s hard not to think about it, but don’t put too much importance on it. It doesn’t take away from the fact that you’ve been getting better – this was only one time. Think about all the times you haven’t. 🙂 I hope you’ve been okay since you posted this. x
Thank you TADB. I changed it to Lazy Day Sunflower due to a name conflict with someone else. They are my favorite flower. Wild and will grow anywhere, even a garbage heap.