Indifferent

I read your other post which has more information about your situation. I assume that if your husband gets angry if you even try and talk to him that he isn’t going to be interested in or agree to counseling. I had the same situation 21 years ago with my first husband, the father of my son. He was great before I fell pregnant and we got married. He loved my son but he seemed to really resent me, hate me. Of course there was no more partying like before the baby and of course I put on weight and he was working hard to pay rent and everything and he just seemed to resent me for it all. It wasn’t good for my son because we had terrible fights and I was so unhappy and lonely. I got in touch with a women’s refuge and left him but I agreed to go back because he promised to get counseling. The first night I came back he said he would never go to counseling and that it was all just me. It all got worse and eventually I left him (back to the refuge). It was really scary and my family didn’t support me at all. So, anyway we got divorced. He did have regular contact with our son and still does. When I look back on what a wreck I was back then I am surprised that I had the courage to do it but it was definitely the right thing to do for my son (and myself). It was really scary having no place to live and no income. I got not so great government housing and was on welfare for a few years which my family didn’t approve of but it was definitely the right course of action. You deserve better than this. Your daughter deserves better. It will probably take you a long time to get the courage to make any change. If you can get in contact with any kind of women’s aid helpline they will be able to advise you or at least support you while you consider your choices. I know you probably feel like just jumping off a bridge, I know I did. The whole thing seems too big and difficult to get through now but you can get through it. Please don’t feel like you’re pathetic. This is one of the hardest things you will hopefully ever go through. There’s nothing at all lame or pathetic about your feelings.