Today i had a lighter and thought about how it would feel on my skin. But i am to afraid of the unknown to try. I love the way a blade feels or even a pencil back and forth. I need help. My mind is so filled with hatred and resentment. I know that i am asking for help but if i am telling the truth i will not even accept it. I am no good. People come in and out of my life so quick. I just want someone who not gonna walk out of me because of something i say or do. I just want to feel loved…..is that to much to ask for??? My insignificant life. My flawed speech and body. Too fat…..too useless. I am searching for something but i don’t know exactly what yet.
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A lighter on your skin will HURT, and the blisters that form from the heat will be raw and irritated until they heal, Not recommended. I know that from having a wood stove. Perfection is nothing more than an idea, therefore everyone is flawed. SeeSmith left a lovely comment on the previous page, I think the fifth paragraph especially you should read. Being loved is a reasonable expectation. There are people who will leave you, but you’ll get to those who’ll stay if you keep trying.
It’s hard to let go of anger and resentment, I know. I’m still dealing with it. Being away from the things that caused those feelings helped a lot though.
Oh God, please don’t do that. I understand those thoughts, but please don’t try to do it.
To feel loved is certainly not too much to ask for; it’s something that everyone should have. It’s worth remembering, though, that being depressed can make you feel unloved when you really are. You probably feel less loved because of the thoughts you’re having – that is, thinking negatively about yourself and being filled with resentment. They’re something you can change, though not easily. But don’t think that you’re stuck feeling this way forever.
I think you’re searching for happiness. Everyone is; some people just look in the wrong places. It takes some people a long time to find. But you can do it.
You’re not useless. You know that you need help and that something great is missing: you’re taking the first steps to fixing your problems, even if it feels like you can’t get any further. You can. You’re strong, and you’re loved here, and you have all of us to try to pick you up when you’ve fallen and help you take the next step when you figure out what it should be. And you will. 🙂 For the time being, try to remember that you’re loved.
I feel so confused because for part of the day pretending to be happy wasn’t so hard but for the rest of the day it became too…..too much. I want to make everyone happy but they don’t care if I’m happy. My thoughts are poisoned. My family hates me. I only have 3 people that are trying to understand me. But how can they when i won’t let them. I can’t afford to lose this connection ( even if it is weak) because of my stupid ass problem. But being honest i feel like i have nobody. I feel empty. I love the thought of being happy. But i want to do something to put the pain in physical form. Something to give my mind a break.
Try putting on a pair of headphones, blasting music, and staring at some fast paced television show. Sensory Overload, it works sometimes for me if everything is too LOUD up there. Don’t worry too much about the happiness of others, I mean don’t do something to purposely make them miserable but give the majority of that attention to yourself and let them have what’s left over, not the other way around. Pretending isn’t helping. I don’t think your family HATES you.
I think they do. They don’t even want to talk to me. I’ve been by myself since i was 13. No one called or wrote. No one said I LOVE YOU. But that is to be expected. I always have my headphone in. Vut i will try the overload thing thank you. I still think cutting/burning works best.
Sorry about your family, that doesn’t sound too pleasant.
Cutting provides a temporary solution and it gets quick results but it’ll get to the point where even minor things drive you to it. I don’t pick the best coping methods either so I can’t offer you a good alternative…
Yea i rather many short term relief than one. POSSIBLE long term relief
hot hot yoga is hard to take at first, it used to relieve me of my desire to suffer any othr hurt, sounds lame, I know, but 105 degrees might help
hot hot yoga is hard to take at first, it used to relieve me of my desire to suffer any othr hurt, sounds lame, I know, but 105 degrees might help
lots of people who feel fat go
How do you do it??