That moment you realize they were right. You are nothing….never will be. What am doing wrong that people see right through me. Wish bad things on me. Is it cause i am not pretty enough…or because i just not what you want. That moment everything clicks. That moment when getting on your knee’s praying to god begging him to end it become a norm. People just don’t realize how easily easily easily easily there words can influence someone decision. Like i wish that i wasn’t afraid to just do it. I know that as the time pass on me being afraid will soon fade. I am done ?
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It seems you value the opinion of others far too much, to the point now where these evil people have convinced you to end your life.
Ages ago, I hoped people would love me because I was “nice”…I was always seen as the ‘nice guy.’ I didn’t really realize that was a ‘thing’ to be….but now I look back at myself and it’s fkg obvious.
Long story short, nice guys are seen are losers and they almost never get any love unless it’s from a ‘nice girl.’ I evolved, I learned to be an asshole when I needed to be and nice to those who deserved it.
In your case you just have to develop a tougher personality. Don’t let people push you around or put you down. Turn it right back on them…put them in their place. Fragile/kind people can get get eaten alive out there.
I can’t do that because….i can’t not be what they want. That’s my goal to be perfect in there eyes. At least one time. I want to be the one they’re proud of. The one they’re not ashamed of anymore. My hardest though still isn’t good enough. That why i am giving up. Sad life. Disappointment run deep
But that’s your whole problem there-if you re-read your own post impartially, it becomes plainly obvious that you’re desperately seeking the approval of people who have nothing but hate and contempt for you.
Don’t fall for that trap. Tell these scumbags to fuck off. If they’re your parents, then try to move out and live on your own. If they’re friend, cut them off. As Sartre once said “hell is other people.”
*friends
You really are better off without these people in your life, get rid of them for your own mental sanity/health and survival.
Stop seeing yourself through the lens of other people-because I guarantee you if you do that, you’ll always be imperfect, never good enough. Well what about them? Who the fuck are they? Are they good enough for you?
You have a choice in this matter, you can choose to care for yourself and your life, but getting rid of them. Please make that choice-good luck.
*by getting rid of them (not but)….excuse the typos.
I am confuse because i need them even though they say they don’t need me.
I don’t want to be alone but it seems i am. But how can i say fuck em when i love them.