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what to do, what to do.

by L0STgirl

when you told me you loved me, I believed you. now your nowhere to be found and I’m here falling off the deep end with nobody to catch me. this fall feels never ending, like I’m stuck in time, just floating there in emotions greater than sadness, pain, and loss. I’m trapped with no way out. You, you were suppose to save me, I can’t save myself. but now thats my only option. how can one save themselves when they look in the mirror and see absolutely nothing, I don’t even feel worthless, its greater than that, greater than disappointment. it’s just nothing. that’s when you know it’s almost your time. yet I feel almost scared of what I’m about to leave behind. its a dilemma so great, so beyond even myself.


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lostoneder 10/22/2015 - 10:49 am

I’m living the same life. She was supposed to be everything and we would pick eachother up. She has a lot of her own problems and is walking away to try and fix them on her own, completely breaking me in the process. I’m trying to be understanding and hold on to some hope for the future, but everything feels so dark. I’m only here because even though she’s walking away, I know she still loves me, and I know it would destroy her to feel like it was in her hands.

We have to stay, we have to fight. I think.

L0STgirl 10/23/2015 - 12:35 am

At least she loves you is all I can really say. I got told straight to my face that my illness is annoying and for that reason I no longer love you. It somewhat sucks because I can’t help it, you know. Guess thats life and I just have to keep on searching for someone who will accept and love me completely, illness and everything. It sometimes just seems impossible because I no longer love myself.

Lazy Day Sunflower 10/23/2015 - 12:42 am

Your post really hit home for me. It is terrible this is happening to you. I am reading all these posts and this all makes so sense. Loosing love in any form feels like putting my head in a bucket of ice. I can’t breath and my heart skipped three beats. I’d like to say time heals but that sounds too trite for how deeply you are feeling right now. What I will say is keep moving in a direction, even if it is back, that is still a direction.

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