I just need to pick a date already. I could do next week on the 11th, it’ll make it a year since the rape. I could do the last day of 2015, or on my birthday in January. I can’t be here anymore. I have absolutely no purpose in life. I think about suicide every single day. I wake up thinking about it it’s the only thing that consistently stay on my mind. I’m in school but I’m pretty much failing to the point where I’m on academic probation. If I do bad this semester there kicking me out. I used to do so well. Straight A’s. I used to have so much hope about my life. I wanted to to be successful. But I can’t do that because I’m not a smart person. And it’s even worse when all your friends are moving on with their lives, getting ready to graduate and have their career getting started. It’s saddening. I’m a huge failure. I can’t go into the military because of depression. I can’t do shit right and I’m just done….there’s no getting better for me. I don’t see a positive future. I should have known from a young age that I would be the way I am. I just can’t do this anymore. I was not made for life. I can’t handle anything. I’m 21 years old and I just can no longer do this. I am ready to kill myself. I simply can’t do this anymore.

I’ve been on this website since 2012. Things only got worse to be honest. I don’t see things getting any better. I just need to figure out what method I’m going to use and as soon as I get what I need, I’m doing it.