Lately I’ve been depressed, three weeks ago me and my girlfriend broke up. We’ve been together for about 2 years, in August my mother passed away, and well she kind filled with hope and happiness, and lately I lost all fo that hope, the joy and happiness, I turned to drugs, I’ve been in bed, not motivated to goto school, to ashamed of myself. I know what I’ve done wrong, Me and her had a pretty heated fight, and I said she didn’t care what I was going through, cause she didn’t really acted like it, that’s hwo our breakup started, the next day we were okay, then i found out that she ahd been flirting with my best friend, and thats when i actually snapped, i broke up in tears, was about to fight the kid, long story short him and her are together, and now i sit there at lunch if i goto school they make out in front of me, and i sickens me. but the thing is, I’ve turned to drugs to make myself feel alive, to forget the pain, but then find myself oding, or have some crazy thought about killing myself infront of her, I don’t know what to do. I’m torned and hrut, lost. like no one actually gives a fuck, people see the change of emotion, i usually hide my depression with a fake lie and smile, but i jsut been saying no i’m not fine im really depressed, and then the look at me, as if i was crazy, i often been wondering about death, to cease to exist, to under go blissful oblivion,
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4 comments
You are not crazy, you are going through relationship withdrawal. It seems to be the night of break ups. Maybe it is the season also. Be kind to yourself. It takes a while to work through the feelings from a breakup and her making out in front of you with your best friend makes me think your best friend is one of two things: 1: he is not your best friend, 2: he is the biggest un-evolved moron on the planet. Since you mentioned lunch I am assuming you are still in highschool, so I am going to go ahead with number two, he’s a senseless moron, typical of teenagers in general when it comes to romantic things like this.
You could talk to him or sit at another lunch table. Skipping school won’t solve anything, it is like putting a band aid on severed limb. Is there someone you can talk about this with? It sounds like you really need to work this out. Of course SP is about the best place to work out these kinds of things. We’ve all been there in one way or another.
my depression hasn’t really changed other then getting worse, i talk to a counsoler about my mom, i tell them want is going on, they only say that i need to fill myself with people who actually care,
Well that is a textbook answer if ever there was one. It really isn’t that easy unless you are a planaria, in that case you could just divide down the center and keep yourself in happy company.
You could try reading through all the posts tonight regarding breakups, there are a number of them and it might give you some insight into what is happening and even some new coping skills.
What kind of drugs?
Forget your exGF and former friend. They are assholes. I know, I know, easier said than done.
The fact that your mom died us huge. Fuck school. Fuck game playing friends. Fuck your school counselor. You are grieving. Someone you had massive connection to died. This is going to affect you in ways both obvious and subtle. Did you get any kind of grief counseling when she died? How is the rest of your family taking it?
I’ve seen many people downplay the negative impact of the death of a parent. Like they are weak or a baby if it gets to them. Uh, no.
I’m not much help here. I think you should be depressed and pissed off right now. I say go right ahead and use drugs, be sad, lie in bed, spit on your exGF, wear black, lusten to The Cure. You are going to need time to come back from this.