I’m sharing my story here. I’m a 25 year old boy suffering from various psychological disorders like anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), agoraphobia and lot others.
I’m dealing with all these since last 5 years. But from since last one year, the condition has become much worse.
The frequency of anxiety/panic attacks has been increased a lot.
I’m constantly getting intrusive thoughts in my head which are causing anxiety. Sometimes, my head is flooded with so many anxious thoughts that I think I’m going to die.
These thoughts cause much severe headache which drives me crazy..
Anxiety also has affected my physical body – the left side of my body (both hand and leg) have become weaker that the right side.
Sometimes I think I’ll have a heart attack or stroke because of anxiety.
I had seriously considered committing suicide in July this year. But I couldn’t; I thought I could I try to face life as much as I could. But no, there is no improvement in my mental state at all. In fact, if anything, it has degraded..
I’m worried about my parents; what would happen to them if I die?
It looks like I won’t be able to bear the pain anymore and hence I’m again inclined to suicide.
I don;t know what to do. Please suggest!
14 comments
I would suggest seeing a doctor.
Thanks for suggestion.
I had already seen a doctor. He had put me on medication – fludac.
Also I’ve gone through counselling. It helped for a few days, but not more.
I think I should do one more round of counselling.
Counseling is going to be something you are going to have to commit to for months. This isn’t a one shot thing. AND you are going to have to make sure you have a therapist that challenges you and gives you assignments that moves you out of your comfort zone. You can’t talk your way out of this condition, you are going to practice new modes of thought.
But if you only want to go with medication only then, yes, there is a whole plethora of antianxiety drugs to choose from and they are pretty effective. Hazy, for example, couldn’t say the word “roommate” without having flashbacks to her Studio 54 days. Now she’s a productive member of a new wave progressive Mormon group marriage and you can hardly tell she has a profoundly disturbing facial tic.
The facial tick is due to the fact only 7 of my sisterwives are buried in the basement.
Only 30 more to go!
Thank you Seesmith!
Have you seen a doctor about this? There is some incredibly effective medicine out there that can help ease this.
Okay, so from my experience, the reason it’s getting worse is they’ve got you believing their story about you having all these conditions.
But look: they can’t even tell them apart themselves. They keep changing them around; besides, they just describe some character traits.
The world is fucked and caters to a narrow section of people, and anyone who falls outside the norm gets into trouble.
Why do you accept someone pointing out all your weaknesses and putting you on mind-altering drugs to make you “better”?
If someone tried that on in a bar, you’d call the cops on them. Or at the very least be fucking creeped out. The only reason you’re not is they’re wearing a white coat and they seem friendly enough sat behind their desk.
You can focus on all the things that suck about you, or you can focus on all the things that are excellent about you, or you can even just say “screw it, I’m fine the way I am”.
The point is: don’t waste your life dancing to someone else’s tune.
And you know why your symptoms are getting worse?
Because people keep reinforcing the notion that you are weak and can’t manage, all the while prescribing you drugs that are scientifically known to make these conditions worse.
Who wins? Drug companies. And the doctors on their payroll.
You should read “Anatomy of an Epidemic” by Robert Whitaker.
Thanks muspelhem. I’ll read the suggested book.
I know exactly what are you dealing with. By reading your post it was like if i worte it. Trust me when I say I understand you, if you want to talk to me and share our experiences just say it.
Hi HumbertH, sure! I would definitely like to talk to you.
Send me an email to this adress: morghulis236@gmail.com and we can talk.
Sure HumbertH.