I can’t even make a title for this…

I feel so numb. It’s almost like I’m dead inside. Ive always battled depression, I’ve always had suicidal thoughts off and on since I was very young. It’s different now… I know I’m going to do it soon. And I’m not afraid to do it. I’m not waiting for a specific date or time… I’m not writing goodbye letters,  or even thinking about how to do it. I just feel it coming, and when it happens, how it happens, is just as simply not important. Nothing is anymore. I don’t even care how it got to be this bad, or why. I’m not curious, I’m not sorry, I’m not even sad. I just am… I’m just numb… I’m just ready…