I am here today to get some helpful info. First off let me say I’m not here for being talked outta anything. I’ve made my own decisions and don’t need judgment or to b talked outta doing it. Also no religion please. I’m an atheist and would not like to hear about what a fictional character says about what I wanna do. I’m severely bipolar with extreme ptsd and have lost literally everything that mattered to me. I could make a list but I won’t. I have very little family anymore and only a few possessions to my name. My decision is my own and I would appreciate respect and just some info. What I wanna do is spend the holidays with my family then do the deed. I don’t want a mess for someone to clean up. I wanna go as peaceful as possible. I read a lot about cyanide but can’t find a reliable source online yet. I’ve tried hanging but that is hard to make successful so I need a guarantee success rate and the least pain as possible. I would love to just die n my sleep but that’s hard to do so I’m here for help deciding on methods to fit my needs. Save the preaching and judgment please. I respect all of u and I want respect myself. So I’m putting it out there. Can anyone help me with this. Surely someone has good info to fit my needs. Thank you for any help at all.
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I’m an agnostic Quaker and I take advice from fictional characters when it suits me. Right now I can only quote, “Meep! Meep!” Sorry.
Yes, life tends to be pretty sucky. There is no fix for that. The only thing you can do is choose to look at it differently. It’s a bunch of bother, really. But sometimes you see a beautiful sunset or you fall in love or you find $20 in the ground. There’s no rhyme or reason for it. But you keep muddling along anyway. Eventually you learn to do things that block out the bad parts of the world like baking bread or playing an instrument or painting or having a bunch of good friends.
Next thing you know your raising a kid and they are telling you the world is too horrible to live in. And somehow you get through that crisis.
Then, all of a sudden, you’re old and dying and you can think of 100 things you still want to do and despite the pain you try to do more. And then everything stops and you are fetlizer for some nice flowers.
And the people that knew you carry on and remember you and tell stories about how you helped them when they felt down and showed them there were so many great little things in life that made it all worthwhile.
And the beautiful flowers keep growing, and dying, and come again the next year.
I wasn’t looking to be talked out of it at all. If your life and way of looking at things works for you that’s great and you should consider yourself lucky. I need info and maybe this isn’t the right place to find it. If I can’t get what I’m looking for here someone please tell me a forum or website to go to. Surely there is a place for people like me out there. My decision has been made all that’s left is the details. I kno this is a cold and taboo subject but I believe it’s ones own right to decide when to end it. It’s the one true freedom we really have in life. I don’t need to hear y life is worth living because trust me mine is not. I suffer every day and its a bleak existence that I’ve held onto for far to long. Living in constant pain along side a horrible mental illness is a prison in of itself. You can’t completely understand. Hell nobody can but I assure you my life is much better off this way. I am a very educated person and make it a point to plan everything I do down to the final detail. Just because the flowers grow and the sun shines doesn’t mean my life is any better for it. I’m glad they do but that doesn’t help my misery at all.
I respect that you consider this your decision and don’t want to be talked out of it. I don’t think there’s any need to insult religion, but I’m sure you have your reasons. If you read the rules on the Read This First page you’ll see that discussing methods isn’t permitted here. (Neither is preaching the gospel.) I sympathise because I know researching methods can be difficult, but this isn’t really the place to do it – although they allowed discussion of methods in the past, so you could use the search to find older posts for information. There are also books and other websites. I can’t really recommend any in particular.
I think most people here do understand. Best of luck to you. I hope things get better or you find what you’re looking for.
Hi. I’m sorry that things are apparently rough for you at the moment. As Trix mentioned, most people here do understand. If there are things on your mind that you’d like to share, this site can be quite supportive. It can be possible to find peace by working through whatever is going on. I hope that you are able to push through and move forward.
I agree with all the previous posters.
However, when you find a method that works for your needs, and unfortunately I can not provide the, I bid you a gentle transition into peace.
Until then I am hear to listen and support your personal decision.