My “Bestfriend”

Everyone has that person who they can tell anything to and they know they won’t judge, or make fun of them for it. I have always considered this guy to be my best friend. We have known each other since fifth grade, and when we met we just clicked. We are now both juniors, I still consider him to be my bestfriend but i know he has drifted to other people, and i get we both have other friends, but he sort of just dropped me. But with him, its that he won’t answer me for a few days and won”t talk to me in school in front of his others friends, but then when they don’t want to hang out with him he will text me or call me and try to make plans with me. Of course being the stupid girl i am, i believe he is genuine with the invite and so we make plans to hang out that following weekend. But every time the day comes he will drop our plans and act like he doesn’t even know who i am.

Over the summer we became closer than we have been before, because he moved one street away from me and since we lived so close to each other, when we made plans, we made them for that second. So over the summer we hung out every day that i didn’t have soccer tryouts or basketball practice or him with basketball and hanging out with his brother who was leaving for college. As time progressed i thought he was gonna be the one i told all my problems to, because i thought he would genuinely care. But he started to drop our plans and not answer me anymore, so i set a date for when i would tell him, but every time that day came he would push our plans back. and to me that was good because it gave me more and more time to figure out how i was gonna tell him. But then so much time passed that school started….and he went back to his other friends.

I contemplated trying to tell him again but i thought i should test him before i revealed my deepest secrets. I know whoever reads this is probably thinking  don’t tell him, and why would you tell him after he dropped you so many times. but don’t fret because these thoughts went through my own head, and i didn’t tell him. I told him some story i heard from some party, and next thing i know one of his friends that it was about comes up to me and tells me my “bestfriend” told him i was spreading rumors about him. So my best friend lost my trust, and our friendship. But he did earn something. He earned a cut every time he made me feel horrible about myself and two long scarred cuts to remember our lost friendship, a way for me to think about something that could have lasted but didn’t

He hurt me more than he even knew, he still tries to talk to me and I hate being mean to people so i talk to him. but when he tries to make plans i don’t even consider it because he doesn’t desire my blood, or my tears. he doesn’t deserve anything from me. But i will give him a replica of someone who he once knew that is no longer there.