Sorry for bothering whoever a out there but idk. Just wanna share my story I guess. I’m clinically diagnosed with very very bad depression and anxiety, ptsd, OCD, adhd, and dyslexia… I have 4 attempts. All failed of course. I mean I’m still here obviously. But like.. I’m gay. At school I get called so many names… My gf (ex now) spreads rumors that I tried to sleep with her and that I’ve slept with many girls and guys (I’m a virgin). And my life is basically a living nightmare… And I’m not sure I can go on anymore.
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You are not bothering anyone here. This site is for sharing 🙂 I am sorry things are so rough right now. Do you have someone you can talk to? You mentioned being diagnosed so do you have a counsellour or therapist, etc.? You can certainly post more here, we are great at listening in this little community called Suicide Project.
I am sorry to hear your story. To bad that people is hurting you at school and spreading rumors about you. Why you do go and talk to the school counselor, someone should be able to help to deal with the nightmare you are living.
Sometimes, you cannot control who people treat you but you can control how you react to it. I know it should not be easy, people is cruel sometimes, but why you do not try to ignore them.
You can also try to change school and find one school that protect you better from those no sense attacks that make you feel so bad.
Take Care
I kind of think of us as the “watchers”. Even when we don’t comment we read and watch. In a totally not creepy way.
You are the lizard King
You can do anything
Well, get as far away from those bullies as you can. You will never win at their game, which is meanness, so don’t play. I know that’s next to no advice at all. That is even what my parents told me. Some things never change.
Have you come out to your parents? Live in a big city?
I was relentless picked on fresh, soph, Jr years. This drove me to join the drama club where all the weird kids hung out. That saved my life. Met lots of great people there. Senior year I was 6’3″ and could buy alcohol. Suddenly I was really popular. Funny how that works. College was much better. Diversity is your friend.
You need a therapist to help you with your alphabet soup. Talk to a teacher you trust or counselor. Be honest.
Tape condoms to the locker of your lying exGF. No, don’t do that. But you may find it funny to think about.
Or picture slapping her across the face with a condom. A female condom, they are bigger, more real-estate for slapping…and humor.
True story, in 6th grade I hid under the sink in a classroom for an hour while the school bullies looked for me to beat the living shit out of me. And my friends were the ones who sicked them one me. why you ask? Because I wore my brother’s hand me down clothing and I was small and skinny. It went on and an until in 7th grade in the middle of the worst year of my personal life the school bully targeted me and began a campaign to ruin my life and possibly knock my teeth out.
And on the worst week of personal life of my young existence she picked the wrong day to begin slapping the back of my head in the hallway and I fucking lost it. And this tiny 4 foot 5 girl with greasy hair and ill fitting clothing crawled all over the class bully biting and pulling hair and screaming my nose was running snot and I was sobbing. And she screamed bloody murder and accused me of being crazy. And maybe I was a little crazy that day but she never touched me again.
I’m not telling you to take matters into your own hands like I did. What I am saying is I understand the feeling of being systematically targeted for random reasons. And yes being gay should never be a reason to pick on anyone. You can’t control how you were born. the heart wants what it wants. What I can say is take matters into your own hands by the proper channels. Through teachers or any adult figure that will help. If I tried today what I did back then I would have been suspended and possibly expelled. That kind of batshit crazy is no longer acceptable. I escaped further bullying by finding friends that were as sad and wonderful as I was, and they are still my friends today.
You all are such as a great people and so supportive.
Since you are making stories of your life, I will share a little about my past experiences, when I was at school, my friends were always what they call “the weird”, the one no one want to be friend, you know, the gay, the red hair, the shy, the no popular and the list go on (these was many years ago lizard and I am not saying by any means that you are weird, for me you are not), at my school there was not any policy to protect people from bullying. And in my country for many years the discrimination against homosexual was taught by the high levels of the country. You do not have idea how many of my friends suffer in silence for name calling and others things. There was any place to go and yell for help. It was pure survival. Now I never lived bullying, yes, people laugh at me because I was really small, but that did not affect my psiquis, mom taught me that is ok be like me and be confident and accept myself the way I am. But now after so many years, I have moved to a place full of anti-bully laws and other laws, and I have been so hurt, you do not have idea how I have been treated. 🙁 Anyway, I survived the younger days of life and dying in my oldest. What an irony.
Take Care lizard, find the good people in the place you are and be happy, ignore the others. I agree with Smith.
Whispers is right, you’re not bothering anyone here. I hope you come keep to tell us more and that things improve over there. Talk to one of your teachers at school and tell them what your classmates are doing, they can help you.