So I have posted I fell in love for the first time with my ex boyfriend. He went to work one night and never came home and he had another gf. He blocked me everywhere and said he never wanted to talk to me or see me again.
Tuesday night he sent me a txt that said “?” I did not respond because it’s been so long but I did check and I was blocked by him but could get on his gfs profile. And they were still together and happy according to her
this morning I woke up to a missed call from him. I didn’t know what to do. I love this man with every once of my being even though he destroyed me. Seeing his number on my phone hurt so bad. I txt him back and said “why did you call me?” But he works nights so I know he is asleep now. I don’t want to know why he called now. I don’t know if he is mad at me and I really can’t handle him being mad at me.
I went to check his gfs fb to see if they were fighting or something and I realized she blocked me but he had unblocked me. Mentally I can’t handle him right now. He is very headstrong and I know for a fact when he is done with someone he is DONE!!! He has never went back or even talked to any ex.
No man has ever came back to me #1 so I know that can’t be it but for some stupid reason I still have a sliver of hope. I don’t want to have that hope because I know that it will mean more pain. Good things don’t happen to me ever. I know I’m in for an extreme amount of pain and suffering now for the tiny bit of hope I just can not get rid of even though I know better. 🙁
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I know this is going to sound hard (hey, my root canal treatment is killing me today so i’m not being particularly nice, lol), but i do think you need to let this one go. I mean, yeah, he might try to comeback to you, but if he’s done it once, he’s likely to do i again… really, can you really trust that he won’t get another gf and leave you hanging again? be honest with you there, because you might be risking an even greater heartbreak in the future.
Pretty sure that’s not what you wanted to hear, but i was in a similar situation (i’m a guy tho) with an exgf… she left me for another person and came back shortly without making a big deal about it (and i was stupid enough to trust it). Things were never the same, and eventually she left again for someone else… and even if i saw some signs of being able to get her back (feign ones tho, would have had to really fight it out)… i eventually realized i had no business enduring that sort of situation from time to time. And i’m guessing neither do you.
Normally I am really good at just moving on. This time not so much. I have never loved anyone like this.
I get that. The relationship i mentioned was the most serious i’ve had and the one that did the more damage to me, since i really fell for that person (more than for anyone else before). That’s also the reason why i was saying that you need to really think things through, because the more we love someone… the more they can harm us. Only you know if he’d do it again or if he’s actually worth the trouble/possible heartbreak or not… all i can add is that i hope you do what’s best for you, which sadly, is not always in line with what we want, but again… only you know that.
You should be angry for the way he’s treated you. If you truly loved someone, would you cheat on them, then dump them because for someone else? Is that love?
You might care for him but it’s clear the feeling is not mutual nor being reciprocated by him. Now he’s just using you and you’re allowing this to happen. You’re letting him rip open that wound that he created and cause you more pain and misery.
It’s best to move on and find someone new. Tell him off first-if it’ll give you any satisfaction.
Larry Miller had a stand up routine with a joke that ended with, “Hmmm… Maybe if I put this spoiled milk back in the refrigerator it will get better.”
I’m sorry you are in a position that you even think about him. You deserve so much better. You really do! The pain of loneliness is crippling, but destroying your self worth is like losing your soul. Don’t drink the spoiled milk!
Many hugs!
I know I shouldn’t go back. Until he left he treated me better than anyone ever had in my life. I know I love him more than anything but I know he doesn’t want me back it’s just a stupid slim hope I have that will never come true anyways so there is no fear of me going back to him.
OK. Thank goodness.
I think the seduction of feeling cared for is one of the most powerful things a person can experience. And I think we ultimately engineered our society to reinforce those feelings to guarantee babies. I know it’s hard and you can actually feel your heart shreading. I’m glad you are strong, even if it hurts. I’m glad you are doing the right thing.
If you don’t want to get hurt again, why don’t you block him? Given that he’s probably starting to betray her too, it’s likely that what happened will repeat itself – more than once. This isn’t someone that you can trust. You said if he came back to you it’d be a good thing. It might be easier to stay away from him if you focus on the ways it would end up being really bad for you. You don’t need to go through it all again. That kind of relationship will chip away at your happiness, your trust and your confidence in your relationship and yourself. You’re much stronger without him. It sounds like he’s ready to toy with your feelings whether he comes back to you or not, and if you can prove you can take a step back if/when he tries to do that then you’ll know you have that strength. I can understand that a part of you has that hope, but I hope you see more to it than someone you still love coming back to you. You have to realise what he’s done and that he could easily do it again. You can’t stop loving him, but it’s that bit easier to leave the past behind you when you see that he isn’t perfect and if you got back together it probably wouldn’t be the type of relationship you want. It could end in a lot of pain again.
I fell in love for the first time. Just flat out lay my body on railroad tracks for him love. He ditched me with no reason, just dumped me. It took me over 6 years to get to the point where if I smelt his soap fragrance my mind and heart didn’t race. I couldn’t look at pictures because it made my heart ache and my heart race. Just last year I was going through photos with a friend and there were photos of him and I couldn’t look at them. Although looking at his picture no longer causes my heart to race and my mind to hurt, it is still something I never fully healed from. It was drug withdrawal. I’m friends with him on FB but I don’t talk to him or even post on his wall. I doubt he has any idea what he did to me. No one really understands what he did to me. Truthfully it isn’t his fault, he broke it off clean even if it was just like yanking a chair out from under me. I dreamt of him for years and woke up in fresh pain.
Why tell you this story? Because I know how you are feeling right now, but truthfully you may want to walk away and block him, if your obsession was even close to mine then it is extremely unhealthy. It came close to destroying me.
I think my problem is that the break wasn’t clean for me. There was no closure. I loved him oh so much and I thought at least he loved me. Everything in our life was smiles and laughs until one day he just didn’t come home. I haven’t seen him since he left for work the day before. He blocked my phone and fb until recently and I have no idea what changed or why other than there was another woman. Honestly I feel like he called to yell at me about something. Idk why but thinking he hates me for some reason hurts way worse than anything.
Blocking him puts you in control. The only way I was able to get past my broken heart was to just remove all remnants about him. I was crazed, I stalked him like a lunatic. Not one of my finer moments. He did the same thing, I saw pictures of him with another woman and the next day it was like I didn’t exist. He wouldn’t even look at me. I took a baseball bat to his car. Like I said not my finer moment. The pain was so intense I thought about hanging myself, slitting my wrists, oding. anything to stop the pain. If he would have called me I would have fallen back into his arms without hesitation. I needed to take control of my self and my emotions for the sake of my sanity and future. Like I said, not one of my finer times.
I’ll add I didn’t have children with him, or I most likely would never have gotten over him or been able to move forward in my life. So I’m thankful for that. And we weren’t married, thank GAWD.
He just txt me “I just wanted to check on you”
I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry he is doing this to you. Which he is. It’s selfish and wrong.
People often find it difficult to let go of ex-lovers. The thing is, you’re supposed to care for the person you choose to be with. Your exes are the past. It’s possible that he’s been arguing with his g/f lately and in his “moment of weakness” thought of you and how good he had it. Well, his loss. 🙂 Don’t say anything and block him like Hazy suggested.
…honestly, dismiss him. Don’t let him back into your life. If he did what he did and now is just “casually” checking on you, he’s not even ashamed of what he did. Best thing to do is to move on, even if it hurts like hell.
I’m thinking attempted booty call. BTDT, run like hell and block him.
Ah, the always-so-obvious booty call. I do wonder how people get that one to work. I mean, i kinda think someone did that on me once (and i’m just sort of realizing it, several years later, lol), but i never was able (or wanted) to pull it through. Maybe i’ll do it at some point in the future just for the shit and giggles.
Sometimes not so obvious Mf, sometimes its along the lines of needing to iron out some divorce paperwork…..sneaky indeed.
I won’t ask how you know that, but i’m guessing it’s a true life story… just have the hunch.
There is nothing more depressing than falling into the arms of your enemy.
Well, the “I” and “wanted” are probably honest, but that’s about it.
Exactly.
HE ODd on Thursday. Supposedly because he fucked up and lost me. I am on my way to the hospital
Setting myself up for more heartbreak but this is the most alive I have felt
Holy shit, he texted you to tell you he’s in the hospital and it is because of you??????
:-\
I’m going to come across as the worst person alive (other than the guy that killed bambi’s mom), but… he od’d himself because he lost both: the other girl, and you. That’s pretty obvious.
He must have broke up with the woman he left you for and now he’s being a codependent piece of shit. Would HE visit you if you OD’d? Highly doubt it.
Codependent: meaning he cares about no one as long as someone professes to care about him. A heartless user who doesn’t consider others feelings and goes with whatever comes easiest to him.
But I bet you are headed out the door as fast as you can put on clean clothes right? Nope I totally understand. Just take care of your heart, he is manipulating you.
Honestly you should tell him to try ODing again. We don’t people like that on this planet.
*don’t need
You don’t need that in your life- you were the one who was crushed, you were the one who was left to pick up what was left of you, you are the one who is trying to make a life for yourself. He broke you, and unfortunately, if you run back into his arms, he may do the same thing to you again. And I don’t think that you, or anyone, deserves that. To have your heart shattered once by the same love is unbearable, but twice… I hope you choose what is best for you.
He is still with his gf. He told her he was still in love with me but she is all over him. I’m home now I didn’t even go see him. They are home now. I love him so much. I have tried to move on. I’ve been on several dates and such and I can’t even kiss another person. He was my one true love. So we will see how this goes
I felt the same way about an ex years ago and guess what? I found someone new sometime afterwards. Now if that ex came back to me I would totally ignore them because in my mind it’s a closed chapter. If I could move on, you can too… *hugs*
I, personally, do not think this is a good thing. But, as a proxy SP friend, that will be the only time I ever say that. I will continue to give you virtual hugs and support if I can. I fervently hope everything works out for the best.