I’ve been stuck in the same place for almost 4 years now. I’m a 26 year old male who graduated college 4 years ago. I never knew what I wanted to do with my life but went to college simply because I thought I was supposed to. Since then I’ve been working at a lowly part time dead end job and living with my parents. I’ve looked for work on and off for 4 years now but with my lack of direction and focus I’ve had zero luck. Lately my motivation has been lacking as well, why put all that effort into something that won’t happen anyway? And how am I supposed to rise out of this hole I’ve dug myself into, how am I supposed to work up the ladder with no real work experience. My college degree means nothing, so I’m at a loss as to what to do and feel as if nobody understands the situation that I find myself in.
My personal and social life is a disaster as well. In high school I was struck by severe shyness and anxiety and as a result had no friends the entire time which did a number on my growth I think. Since then my anxiety has gotten better (though it’s definitely still there) and I have managed to form some friendships over the years. But for some reason nothing lasts. For various different reasons. Currently I have no one. And it’s incredibly difficult facing each day alone.
My romantic relationships haven’t lasted either, in fact they have all ended with me being cut off from all contact, which I never understand. It’s a frustrating situation when it feels like all roads lead to failure, and I am certainly not getting younger.
Its fairly simple, I just don’t know what to do, I don’t know what steps to take. Nobody I’ve tried talking to seems to understand this sentiment. I wish I could find some direction, some purpose.
3 years ago I tried to commit suicide, I wound up in the hospital for over a week and it was one of the most awful experiences of my life. I don’t necessarily want to try it again, I don’t want to die, but I don’t want to live the way that I’ve been living anymore either and nothing has changed from that time, I still feel the same way. I just wish I knew how other people make it all work…
3 comments
I’m sorry things have been going so badly. I think it’s good that you mentioned steps to take, even if you have no clue how to go about it. At least you’re thinking about it, and you know you need direction and purpose. It’s just where to find them, and possibly finding the motivation.
I’ve been thinking of taking a course that people do to learn techniques to cure depression, and some people use it for anxiety and other issues. They do a similar one for businesses, work performance etc. When I watch videos or read their articles they always say, “Are you living the life you love now?” Obviously not… For me I think something like that could be helpful – being given techniques and having someone check up on you to make sure you’re doing them enough, and correctly, and that you’re starting to see the difference. That’s the best way I work through anything – by myself but with someone supervising. But what each person wants or needs to help them will be different. You could start at the beginning – what’s the biggest thing you want to change? If it’s being unhappy or lost or depressed, maybe you need to go down the route of finding treatment, general ways to be happier etc… but if it’d be being in a relationship or finding work, maybe that should be your focus. Or maybe you need to talk to someone to figure out where to start. In some ways this is the hardest part – where you’re lost and don’t know where to go. When you discover the best route to go down next it can be a lot easier.
Hi, Have you try to go back to college and get more qualify? Maybe you can take some classes and move your resume a little. I know how difficult is to land in our dream job, sometimes is almost impossible. But we have to try, right? And, yes, we all are getting older, it is really hard to see our life past by without any brilliant future ahead.
I’m almost 38 and very similar to yourself. Shitty, dead end job that I hate.. And unable to get anything better… Worthless college degree that cost me over $60,000.00 to pay off over 14 years.. Always been a total loser with No real friends… (Not to mention no self-esteem) … Relationships (few and far between) that flame out and go nowhere.. Gee, I wonder why I am always thinking about killing myself and/or wishing I was dead?!